Tuesday, December 2, 2008

You just don't pass gas in an aerobics class...

Seriously ladies. That's just cruel.
Every Tuesday I make an effort to go to my favorite workout class called Body Pump. It basically works every single muscle in your body with low weight, high reps. I love it and the instructors and the music are fabulous!
So I would categorize this class as somewhat aerobic, basically because you end up breathing so hard at the end of every weight session you do.
So I walk into class today to start setting up my little workout spot and what do you think happens, I am blasted with the worst smelling perfume someone can let off. Seriously, it smelt like someone crapped their pants.
Now there's only me and like three other people in the class at the moment, and it sure as heck wasn't me.
So, being the polite lady that I am, I shrug it off, start breathing in half breaths and continue to go about my business of setting up the weights.
Other people arrive for the class and we start to do our warmups. I'm mid squat when I'm smacked across the face with the exact same heinous odor as before. I can barely finish the warm up because I'm trying not to gag.
Now, let me interject something here. My husband isn't shy when it comes to his natural gas, so I've gotten used to whatever noises or smells he might emit.
This however wasn't the silly little school girl kind of gas that accidentally happens when you're laughing too hard with your friends, thus causing everyone to laugh harder. This was a "I just swallowed a gallon of toxic waste that is slowly making its way through my intenstines" stench.
The odor persisted and got better and/or worse throughout different periods of the class.
As I looked around I noticed a few other ladies making scrunched up faces at the smell, that, or they could have been concentrating really hard on doing their bicep curls. Whatever, I like to think that they were struggling to breathe.
I finally had to just up and leave before we got to the sit-up and stretching section of the class because whomever came to class with their butt a spewing, kept right on trucking through the very end.
As I sit here now, breathing in some fresh, clean, fart-free air I would like to remind everyone that its just not polite to pass gas in an aerobical (yes I made that up) environment.
If I am working five times harder than normal to breathe and I have both my mouth and my nostrils sucking in air, try not to pollute it with your little "poufs." The world already suffers enough damage from noxious gases and doesn't need any of your help.
I'm bringing air freshner the next time I go.

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