Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Mother's Woe

I've been back at work this whole week. Slowly beginning to ease myself back into some kind of a full-time schedule.
It has been very hard to leave Caderyn at home with Jeff. I feel like I'm missing so much and that he might be missing me. Even though I know Jeff is 100 percent capable of taking care of Caderyn, I feel panicky and that he's not getting enough attention or if he cries because his tummy hurts Jeff won't know the right way to make it better (you rub his tummy and sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star).
On Monday I could barely stand to be away from him and would run home every two to three hours to feed him. I soon found that this is not conducive to my work environment and felt like I was rushing him to eat and that he wasn't getting a good meal. So, I resolved to feed him in the morning before I leave for work, to have Jeff give him a bottle at his next feeding and then to come home and feed him on my lunch break.
While this works, I still just about die when I have to leave him after my lunch break.

I know that practically every single mother has to go through what I am going through but its still just SO hard and it makes you feel alone.
I want nothing more than for my day to fly by so I can be home snuggling with my little man and making sure that if he has a tummy ache, mommy with make it better. :)

1 comment:

The McGregor Clan said...

I feel you pain!!! I cried every day the first two weeks of leaving Alana in child care. I remember thinking that I must not be a good mother, since I wasn't the one taking care of her. Of course, that's not true and it does get easier, but it was still one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I will pray for you to have peace. It does get better, and I don't know if it's because they get bigger or I just got used to our new routine. He is such a doll. I am glad you guys are so happy.