Tuesday, December 15, 2009

You Know You're a Mom When..

  • Your face, neck and hands are covered with scratches and bite marks NOT from a fight, but from your sons tiny little teeth and fingernails. Those suckers are sharp. No matter how many times you clip those nails in a week or give him a teething ring/pacifier he still finds a way to mar your skin.
  • Scenario: Your son has taken a GIANT poop. Its so bad and stinky its leaked all over the lower half of his onesie. Part of you rejoices in the fact that he's not constipated. The other has to stop and think how in God's name you're actually going to get this clean. You know you're a mom when you actually consider getting some scissors and cutting the onesie off of him rather than fight the struggle of trying to get it over his head without getting the poop everywhere. I've actually considered this multiple times but have yet to find a good reason to get the scissors out. Solution: Just suck it up and fight the fight. You'll probably walk away with poop up to your elbows, but at least your son will be poop free...until next time.
  • Scenario: You want to watch a Netflix that has just come in the mail. Baby is taking a nap and you are exremely excited for some "me" time. You walk over to your T.V. and find it takes longer to wade through the barrier of boxes, baskets and pillows you have set up in front of the entertainment center to protect both your son and electronic equipment than it would to watch the movie. Solution: You only get to watch the first five minutes of the movie before baby wakes up.
  • You go to cook a meal and realize half of your cooking utensils are now almost permanent residents in the toy box or tubby toy basket. 
  • You buy more clothes for your baby than you do for yourself
  • You love waking up in the morning because your son has become the next American Idol and sings to himself every morning when you wake up. I will seriously lay in bed for 30 minutes and listen to him sing and laugh at himself. Its the best.

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