Thursday, July 22, 2010

Start Your Morning With a Laugh #2

Caderyn let me sleep until 6:25 a.m. this morning. Hooray (Insert sarcastic "hooray" here).
I staggered out of bed, noticing how my husband didn't even flinch at the noise coming from the baby monitor, pulled on my robe and zombie walked to Caderyn's room.
As soon as I opened the door, I was assaulted by poopie diaper smell. Caderyn was sitting up in his bed giggling though, so it didn't bother me all that much. I changed the toxic waste, talking to Caderyn about what he was going to do today and waiting for him to just unleash a sentence on me (we are really trying hard to get him to say more words than, "Daddy" "Papa" and "Hi").
With the diaper changed I let Caderyn roam through all of his toys for 10 minutes while I got the coffee pot cooking.
 The next part of this story all happened within a 15 minute period:

It got really quiet out in our living room and I peeked my head around the kitchen corner to see what he was doing. Caderyn had an empty box of Milk Duds that my dad had been eating the night before. No big deal. But then it was still quiet and that makes me nervous. Unless my child is sleeping, he's never EVER silent. Side note: Even when he's sleeping he's not quiet because he talks in his sleep. Seriously. It freaks me out when I hear him say "DADDY" at 11:00 p.m. when I'm just ready to drift off to dreamland.
Back to the story. So it was quiet, too quiet. I hopped over the baby gate and as I got closer to Caderyn I noticed his cheeks were puffy and he kept  poking at his mouth. As I got closer I realized that Caderyn had a Milk Dud in his mouth and that my dad had missed one Milk Dud. Caderyn was just tickled pink to have this chocolate-y goodness in his mouth, I on the other hand was a wreck. As quick as a mom could I pried his mouth open with my fingers and removed the candy with a thought of relief that he hadn't choked. Caderyn on the other hand, thought the world had ended. Meltdown ensued, which was quickly stopped with Mommy bringing over some of his trucks to play with. As soon as he'd calmed down I scooped my Bub up and put him back in his crib with a bunch of toys so I could shower and start to get ready for work.

Shower done, coffee ready, Caderyn happy, Milk Dud in the garbage.
I released Caderyn from his crib and let him roam free in the Family and Dining Rooms. I popped some toast in the toaster and poured myself a cup of coffee and realized, again, that it was too quiet. So I poked my head around the kitchen wall again and saw Caderyn with his back to me playing with something. I again hopped over the baby gate and walked over to him only to find him playing with my Dad's swimming goggles. He had succeeded in getting them on and over his eyes and he was SO proud of himself. He ran around for five minutes just laughing and laughing at how funny he was. I took a picture. It will be posted later.
My toast popped I ran back into the kitchen to butter it and then I sat down at the table to eat and read the paper with Caderyn climbing all over me.
Now I haven't mentioned Lucy in this story yet. Lucy was curled up under my chair. She'd been sick the night before, throwing up outside a couple of times, but since then she'd been fine.
Caderyn climbed down from my lap and was focusing on Lucy while I focused on a movie review. I saw Caderyn moving his arms wildly and thought that he was "petting" Lucy, which is actually him smacking her while she dodges. So I said, "Caderyn, be nice to Lucy. Be gentle." He usually listens. No he doesn't- I'm in denial.
So after the third time of telling him I looked down to see him covered in gunk. I grabbed his hands and they smelled horrible. I immediately looked at Lucy to see a HUGE- not small- HUGE pile of dog puke in front of her that Caderyn was playing in and had flung all over her and the carpet.
I didn't even hear her get sick.
So 1. I felt bad that she was still sick. 2. I felt like I deserved the "Horrible Mom of the Year" Award for letting my child play in dog puke. 3. I was ticked because I hate- hate cleaning up puke.
Oh and just so you all don't turn me in to child services, I immediately washed Caderyn's hands with soap and called Jeff from his slumbering state to help me. 

Recap of the morning:
1. Tired Zombie Mom
2. Happy Pooper
3. Candy War results in Atomic Meltdown Only to Reach a Peaceful Agreement Over a Tonka Truck That Has a Duck for a Driver.
4. Goofy swimmer
5. One Second of Solitude
6. Caderyn's Attempt to Model Pollock While Using Puke.

It's never boring in our house.

1 comment:

The McGregor Clan said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Love this story. I say that all the time when I make a mistake, "People, you got the mother of the year, right here. Don't be jealous." :) Our mistakes help keep perspective.