Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Broken Promises of Parenting

(This is Chicka. Isn't she cute?)
This adorable little puppet , Chicka, and I have recently become acquainted. When Caderyn gets his inhaler treatment and then his nebulizer breathing treatment the only thing that keeps the big guy from wiggling out of my arms is some quality cartoon time. When Jeff and I were pregnant with Caderyn we did what I call "The Grand Parent Bluff." We sat around daydreaming about how we would be perfect parents. We would never raise our voices in frustration or fear (my kid was discovered on top of our kitchen table recently), our child would eat only organic meals and our child would never, ever watch television.
All of those "daydream promises" have been broken. It shattered my heart a little when I found out the beautiful bubble world I had created for my child would never be. I still think Jeff and I are good parents. Did I mention that Caderyn was recently discovered on top of our kitchen table? I had ducked into our laundry room to throw a load in the washer and when I came out he was standing on the table hovering dangerously close to the edge. My heart just about stopped and I did what I like to call the Kermit the Frog reaction. My mouth went wide open and made "Gahhhhhh" sounds and my arms flailed around frantically. I'm sure Caderyn thought it looked pretty funny.
"Caderyn, No!" I said. I startled him a little (not a lot though) and he looked at me and said, "No no no," with the wave of his little pointer finger. I have no idea where he learned the pointer finger wave from (his Grandma Swan). But this instance proved to me that most parents probably can't make it through the 18-years of their children's lives without raising their voices sometimes.
Before I had Caderyn I made a promise to myself that I would only feed my child organic food. Well, I breastfed for 7 months- that's pretty organic and then when Caderyn got into the baby food stage those were all organic too. I wanted to try making my own baby food, but when a girl works a very full-time job and is going back to school there are just some things you can't do.When Caderyn got into the people food stage we tried oh so hard to keep everything as healthy as possible, but a family's budget can only take so much and eating completely organic is pricey. The one thing I've adamantly kept up with is the organic milk. Caderyn has only had organic milk in this household. So I broke my organic promise. Sometimes it frustrates me that organic food isn't more affordable, but at the same time my son is just fine and he poops like a champion so I think we're fine in the tummy department.
And my final day dream has been television. I grew up playing outside with my friends- of course I also watched television. I think I turned out just fine, but before Caderyn was born I had that panicly feeling that my child would turn into one of the television zombie children we see today. Jeff and I talked and talked about how our child would never watch t.v. and would grow up outside appreciating the outdoors...Try telling that to yourself when there's a foot of snow on the ground and its -20 degrees.
Now that we're doing breathing treatments twice a day for prevention, I turn the television on to Sprouts and let Caderyn enjoy The Wiggles or Rory The Racing Car during the morning. We also get a special treat when this little Chicka comes on. I can't believe I'm even writing about this, but that puppet is freaking cute. She squeaks/chirps what she says and you can amazingly understand her. Caderyn loves her. Everytime she comes on when we're in breathing treatment mode he squeals, "Chicka!" and is enthralled with whatever she does. At night, during breathing treatment, we watch Nina's Fables and then watch Chicka read a bedtime story before her Barnyard friends tuck her in.
So although I've broken my t.v. promise to my son, I will admit its pretty dang cute watching him get so excited about seeing this chicken puppet come on. Plus, we don't watch t.v. all that much and we spend lots of time playing and snuggling and reading.
So, I have resolved that the perfect parenting world will never truly exist.You will sometimes have to raise your voice, your child might have McDonalds without you ever knowing and your television might have to become a time passer at least once or twice during the day (ours is mainly for the breathing treatments). My mind is assaulted by waves of guilt occasionally with this realization, but all I have to do is look at my sweet little boy and see how happy and healthy (aside from the breathing issues) he is growing up to be.
Did I mention I love this little boy?
He woke up this morning going, "Mommy? Daddy? Mommy? Daddy?" Over and over until we came in to get him and give him good morning kisses. He's watching Chicka wish her friends Happy Birthday right now with a big smile on his face and  I love it.
Here's a cute Chicka clip for those of you wondering what the heck I'm talking about

1 comment:

Danny said...

you're a better parent than i will be Swan. i plan on having Nickelodeon raise my child.