Sunday, January 30, 2011


Can I just rant for a minute, here?
So lately when I watch TV or read something I notice a story about Charlie Sheen and his downward spiral. I. don' But, obviously if I'm writing about this topic, I must care a little.
I don't care about him. I care about how this man can have everything and throw his life at such crap. Drugs and prostitutes. If he has so much money he's bored, could he please share some of that with me or with the people and places who need it the most right now. He's disgusting. He's got four plus little kids. Give them the money. Give the money to charity for pete's sake.
He's a poor excuse for a man and he's not even that great of an actor. I think I could go head to head with him. He's just some stupid schmuck who's been born into priviledge, never had to work an honest job a day in his life or answer to any responsibility.
Disgusting. I could do so much with what he has.
I think first and foremost though, he needs to make sure his kids and baby mommas are taken care of. Then maybe he should put himself away forever and ever.

Ok done ranting.
New post to come soon.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly in the Plain

Yesterday was the first day since Jeff has been gone that I really just broke down and cried.
It wasn't pretty and there was mascara involved.
The morning started off just fine until I got a message that my day care was closed due to illness. Normally, I would have been able to leave Caderyn with Jeff. But not today- or any day for awhile.
So I made the calls to see if someone could help me out for a few hours in the morning or afternoon, but it was too short notice.
That's fine. Well, then I thought I could take Caderyn in to work with me for an hour just to get some stuff done. I loaded toys and treats and movies and Caderyn into the car and took him with me, pulled up and was hit from all angles with work problems all the while trying to keep track of a little boy who had just dropped a load in his drawers and kept escaping from my sight.
Needless to say, I was only at work for 30 minutes before I left because it was just too much. I loaded everything and Caderyn back into the car and burst into tears. I was SO frustrated with the overall situation. I was frustrated I couldn't be at work and get my job done. I was frustrated that not being at work might reflect poorly on my work ethic. I was frustrated at being alone. Frustrated that I couldn't just let Caderyn play and just overall I was so frickin' FRUSTRATED.
I sat in my parking spot at work just blubbering for maybe 5 minutes. Caderyn was singing in the background.
I managed to pull myself together a little and I called my dad. More waterworks.
He talked me through it.
Thanks Dad.
So home we went. We watched "Cars" and played trucks and read books and wrestled. Then it was nap time and I found myself with just a glimpse of what being a stay at home might look like.
I cleaned.
That was my glimpse.
When I finally collapsed on the couch to put my feet up Caderyn woke up. He was a bit crabby so I let him fuss a little until he woke up more and I dashed into the kitchen and quickly set out all of the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies. When he was finally awake and in a better mood after some snuggles he and I set to making cookies. This was the first time we'd tried it and I think he loved it.
Actually, I really just think he thought he was cool because I brought in a special step ladder just the right height for him to help me.
He poured all of the ingredients in and turned on the mixer (with my help and supervision of course, gosh what kind of a mom do you think I am?). He giggled when the mixer went on really high and repeated all of the ingredients after me.
When the dough was made he snuck his little finger in and pulled out a chocolate chip. I gave him a hard time about that- something along the line of that would cost him five kisses and then sent him on his way with a little bowl of chocolate chips.

By the time our day was complete I was more exhausted after that one day than an entire day of getting ready and out the door to work, working, picking him up, going through the motions at home, working out, snuggles and bedtime- which is what we usually do.
I think I was in bed, asleep by 10:00 p.m.

Looking back- I find this "hard" day not too terribly hard. There are worse things that have happened. I'm thankful I have a job that is flexible with my schedule and understands what my family is going through right now. I'm thankful for the extra time I got to spend with my son and being able to make cookies with him. I am thankful he now says "ippies" for chocolate chips (every time he says that I think he sounds like a Audrey Hepburn from My Fair Lady- "aaaaaaaaaaaayuh").
And, sweet dear Lord, I am thankful for bedtimes.
I needed it yesterday. And, you know what. I woke up today to a bright new day ahead of me.

I miss Jeff.
But I have a great little boy. And dog.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Hello..I'd Like You To Meet My New Lover...

Ah ha! I got your attention, didn't I?
So yes. Netflix is now my significant other stand-in for the next two and a half months.
Every night after I've cleaned and finished studying I curl up on the couch with a blanket in anticipation of spending time with my instant Netflix or whatever arrived in the mail.
Romantic, hmmm?
Recently, I watched Easy A (LOVE IT) and The Young Victoria (LOVE IT. I cried) and started Dexter Season 4 (LOVE IT. But so creeped out).
Ah, I can only anticipate the hotness that will ensue on my sofa tonight. I've got The Duchess lined up, as well as some Daniel Tosh stand up comedy. I can hardly wait.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Our Newest Obsession

Caderyn got the movie Cars for Christmas.
It's been downhill from there.
Nearly every day we struggle to not watch the movie. Caderyn just doesn't see it that way.
The first thing out of his mouth in the morning is usually, "Cars?" He asks this question a lot lately.

He adores this movie. We love how much he adores it and has taken to certain scenes- like the Tractor Tipping. See my last post.

This weekend I did some much needed shoe shopping for the Bub. He's gone up a whole size since Christmas. While we were at the store Caderyn suddenly bolted out of my sight.
He had discovered a pair of Lightning McQueen slippers just in his siz stashed in a corner of the store. They were on sale for $3. So I bought them. Now he won't take them off.

Here's some photos of just how cute they are and just how obsessed he is with them.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

22-month Caderyn in Two Pictures

Stubborn little eater 
Addicted to the movie "Cars" Caderyn now sets all of his tractors up like this in reference to this scene. 

So I couldn't find the actual scene, but basically Lightning McQueen and his friend Mater sneak into a field to "tractor tip" just like cow tipping. When they scare the tractors they fall on their backs and fart. Caderyn thinks its hilarious. Thus the basis of Caderyn actions with his toy tractors.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Christmas Conclusion

For Christmas, my parents got all of us a cooking class with the amazing Maribeth. If you live in the Phoenix area or are planning a trip there soon and need something wonderful to do, I would highly suggest contacting her (information at the end of the post).
Maribeth offers fabulous cooking classes out of the kitchen of her beautiful home. You get to choose your meal genre, ours was Mexican. You arrive at her lovely home, crack open a beer or a bottle of wine and begin your fun and relaxing evening. Each of us was assigned to a station.
My dad was assigned to the main course- steak fajitas
My brother was assigned to the appetizer- tortilla soup
My mom was assigned to the salad- yummy homemade dressing with lots of yummy veggies
Jeffy was assigned to the salsa and guacamole
I was assigned the dessert- a mexican flan cake.  

Maribeth has all of the ingredients out and ready to go for you at each station along with insutructions on what to do. We all dove right in. Maribeth goes around and answers questions and explains why things are the way they are- like why you actually have to put tortilla's in the tortilla soup: it thickens the soup. Did you know that? I sure as heck did not.
My mom at her station
Me at my station
The infamous cake. Read on to find out more information about this blasted cake.
Taylor at his station
Jeffy at his station. As you can see we got some pretty sweet aprons to wear.
Cooking the whole meal together took about 45 minutes to an hour and the end result was SO SO SO delicious. The only bummer was my cake. In my excitement at baking and being with my family I forgot to put in the baking power. I put in baking soda, but not the powder. The result was a pudding-like cake that still tasted pretty darn good. I'm actually going to make that cake again soon just to PROVE to myself and to Maribeth that I can do it right. :)
My parents devouring Jeff's Guac. It was yummy!
Taylor getting ready to serve his dish.
Enjoying our first course
So full at the end of the night.
It was a blast and Maribeth was a patient instruction and gracious hostess. If you're interested in contacting her, here's her website with information. 
Contact her contact her contact her!

Okay now for something fun. If you've read down this far then I'm assuming you like my blog. Thank you. Earlier I mentioned that we all got to wear some pretty swanky looking aprons at this class. My dad got the swankiest one of all. The only problem is that its a Rated R apron. In order for me to show a picture of it I need at least SEVEN people to post that they want to see it and would be okay with it. If not, then that's okay. You loss. :) Cheers!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Emerging from the Darkness

I've been meaning to post the last of our Phoenix trip pictures.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
These past few days my mind has been in a dark place. A place haunted by the forthcoming absence of my husband and the responsibility of our family heaped upon my shoulders. I just about lost it yesterday and broke down at work. But I didn't. Thank God.
Instead, I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. A person with crazy, frizzy red hair and pale skin with freckles stared back at me. This person is supposed to be me but sometimes I don't feel quite like myself.
Yesterday I felt claustrophobic and skittery all day long until we picked Caderyn up from day care and were all together as a family. I felt like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. Always worried, always jumpy, always expecting the worse.
Today I am fine. I have climbed up from the black hole I fell into this week and feel more like myself. I almost feel like The Hulk. But not angry. And not so willing to take my clothes off like that green guy is.
This transition that will take place soon is going to turn mine and Caderyn's world upside down. I've come to that realization. After thinking and thinking and thinking about this change until my brain hurt I have also come to a very assured conclusion that this change that takes my husband away for 10-whole-weeks will be a very good thing for our family. Maybe even one of the best decisions we've made as a couple.
My journey through this transition will be filled with some dark days when I feel alone and at my wits end, but, as I keep telling myself, tomorrow is a new day.

Pictures of our sweet cooking class coming VERY SOON.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The REAL Post #5: Christmas in Phoenix- Christmas Eve

Caderyn was very excited all day on Christmas Eve. I don't think he really knows what's going on just yet but he was quite the character and he just wouldn't sit still for two minutes. He was jumping and running and squirming.

Starting his day off by taking ornaments off the tree- the "Nanny Nanes" or "Candy Canes" 
Caught in the act 
Jumping for joy when he finds out that "Tanta" or "Santa" is coming tonight. 
He's been a good boy...I promise

 Pictures After Church:
Caderyn would NOT sit still. You'll see how wiggly he was in the pictures.
 I'm making my forced smile as I try to help Jeff control the wiggle worm
This approach didn't really work either. Oh well.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Glendale Glitters. Phoenix Christmas Take 5

We went to Glendale Glitters and "Oooh'd and Ahhh'd" at all of the pretty lights. Then it started to rain.
The end.

Insert Caderyn caption here... 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

It's Mimi's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my mom and Caderyn's Mimi!

You are a special lady. You deserve a special post on your birthday!
You are just the best person in the whole wide world!
Question: If you could have a cabin anywhere, where would it be?

Christmas In Phoenix Take 3

My mom and I got to have a girls night out the first Monday we were there. My mom's card group goes out for a really nice meal and does a cute gift exchange.This group of women was SO much fun to hang out with! The food was delicious. We ate at a restaurant in Scottsdale called Culinary Dropout. I would highly recommend it. You have to get the pretzel fondu as your appetizer and then try their seasonal pasta dish or the grilled cheese sliders UM YUM.
Good company, food and wine was had by all.
My dad and Taylor watched Caderyn that night. I think they had a pretty good time too.

All gussied up.

The infamous Taylor

Not minding Mommy or Mimi being gone because he's haning out with Papa and Papa shares some good snacks!

Action shot! These snacks are SO good.

Showing uncles Taylor his Wiggles Car and train set

Um, Papa. Could you stop taking pictures and play with me!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Loving Christmas With Mimi and Papa. Christmas in Phoenix Take 2

Caderyn James loves his grandparents. All four of them. He is very lucky to have two gwonderful Papas and a wonderful Mimi and Mema.
While in Phoenix, Caderyn was the focus of ALL attention.
He slept on my parents floor and snuggled with them in bed every morning. Mimi made him pancakes every day and took him on at least two walks. Papa took Caderyn on bike rides and played lots and lots of trucks and trains. Whatever that boy wanted he got. Spoiled with a capital S.

Mimi with her little elf.

Before Caderyn arrived, Papa went out and bought a special train set that he intends to keep and then bring out every time Caderyn is here. Caderyn absolutely loved it and I think my dad really did too.

Binkie Boy watching the train before bedtime.

Patient Papa

Watching the train scoot around the tracks. That thing actually went really fast!

Here it comes

Wow! And there it goes

I love this picture of how deep in concentration/amazement Caderyn is. I also love how his little belly is just sticking out.

More tomorrow!

Thursday, January 6, 2011


Caderyn got up early this morning. I Mombied into his room, changed his diaper, smooched his cheeks, gave him a sip of milk and tried to put him back to sleep. No dice. He screamed.
I wasn't ready to get up- it was that early. So I carried him into our bed and situated the Bub right between Jeff and myself. Jeff was snoring louder than a dumb truck driving by a nitroglycerin plant (who gets that reference?) so he didn't really notice. Caderyn lay on his back with his two special blankies that he is rarely without and I was turned toward him. I gently rubbed his tummy and he rubbed the ends of his blankies across my nose. This is something Caderyn does for comfort. He rubs his blankie corners on his nose or around his face when he's upset or tired. He also does it to people that he loves.
As the four of us snuggled together on our bed (Lucy was there too) and I watched Caderyn's heavy eyes drop shut I was filled with such an overwhelming sense of peace and love. Soft light from the approaching morning was starting to peek through our windows and our bed felt like the most comfortable and safe place to be in the whole wide world.
Change is coming very quickly to our household and I wanted nothing more than all four of us snuggling in bed forever. Permanently in that dreamlike state. 
Change is something that happens every day in our household, but bigger changes are coming up all too quickly. Change happened too quickly this morning too when Caderyn finally decided to wake up. He elbowed me in the nose, crawled over me (making sure to jab me all the right areas) and was soon off and running. Jeff didn't budge much.
He was too busy snoring.
A little boy who is growing up way to fast.

Southern Christmas

Here come the pictures of our fabulous vacation down to Arizona for Christmas.
We had so much fun with my family and were spoiled rotten by my generous parents.

We played outside a ton. The weather was gorgeous for most of the trip and Caderyn loved riding his bikes around the block and back yard.

Caderyn also loved collecting rocks and putting them in the basket of his bike

Caderyn loves to run while pushing things. Here he is in action.