So yes, yesterday was Wednesday. Hump Day as some people like to call it, the middle of the week when things just start to get better as Friday is within every working person's sights.
My Wednesday started with POOP. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and smelled something funky. I knew immediately, before I had even opened the door of my bedroom, that Lucy had pooped in the house.
As I opened my door, I was nowhere near prepared for the extent of desctruction. Lucy was waiting by the front door, embarrassed. I immediatley let her out. You just can't be mad at a little dog that's sick.
Then I surveyed the damage.
She had pooped not once, but FOUR times all over the carpet of our RENTAL home.
They weren't little solid piles either. They were huge destructive, diarrhea, staining piles.
I cleaned them up the best I could before just finally calling a carpet cleaner. They would be at my house by 1:30p.m.
So I let Lucy back in and patted her head and rubbed her belly. I cooed soft, hopefuly tummy calming words and let her know repeatedly she wasn't in trouble. She still was slinking around the house in shame.
Then Caderyn woke up. I got him up, changed his diaper and walked out to my little dog in the middle of her SECOND uncontrollable bowel movement since I'd gone into Caderyn's room a mere 5 minutes before. There was some running involved that took her outside and then I, again, cleaned up poop.
I thought I had a nose and stomach of steel after having a baby, but I nearly threw up twice in the middle of these cleaning processes.
Now on to another story of poop. Caderyn has been constipated. Usually he's a morning movement kiddo, but the past few days he's really struggled to get his #2s out. I felt bad watching him push in pain and frustration. I rubbed his belly, fed him copious amounts of beans and other fiber filled foods and even let him sit extra long in a nice warm bath in hopes of releasing the beast within. No avail.
I left Lucy outside yesterday until I went to work and I barricaded her in the kitchen. I got home at 1:00 p.m. to meet the cleaners and was bombarded with a kitchen/mudroom COVERED in diarrhea. Before I even had the door open Lucy had bolted outside to do some more dirty work and was crying. :(
I started cleaning up her mess. Lots of papertowels and bleach were involved. The carpet guys came.
I was ecstatic.
Lucy had a poopy butt.
They cleaned. I cleaned.
I had to run back to work.
Before I picked Caderyn up from daycare I wanted to run home and let Lucy out again. I left work and essentially floored it all the way home. My kitchen was again covered in diarrhea only this time.......it was bloody. Very bloody.
So I called the vet. They told me to bring her in immediately. I internally freaked out.
I wrapped my poor little dog in a towel (she was just filthy) and floored it to the vet.
They analyzed her, propped her, stuck stuff up her very sore bottom and then decided to keep her the night. She was very dehydrated and they wanted to give her some antibiotics.
So Lucy has spent another night at the vet.
I picked Caderyn up and just felt exhausted. We ran to a playdate and then ran home.
Low and behold, Caderyn- aka Mr. Constipated for the past two days- become Mr. Constipated no more. He literally exploded out of his pants. It was gross to say the least. I was so tired of cleaning up poop that I coyly asked my babysitter to change him so I could start dinner.
When he was sparkling clean the next thing that happened was that he got a bloody nose.
How much blood and poop can one woman take in one day!
I think I overdosed on both because I just about burst into tears when I saw his blood. Thankfully, my babysitter was there and she shooed me out the door to the gym where I was able to lose all train of thought for 45-bliss-filled minutes.
The moral of this story...
1. It's gross and I'm sorry but I have been super busy all week and this is the most interesting thing that's happened
2. My husband is going to spend lots of time outside cleaning up all of the dog poop when he gets back.
3. I need one of the following a) a massage b) a big glass of wine c) a cake all to myself d) hardwood floors