Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Great Debate

Ladies and gentlemen, this post is going to be about babies.
Note: I am not pregnant.

Since Caderyn was born just over two years ago, the great debate in our household has been:

J-Man (aka Jeff) has been very adamant about wanting to have another bambino very soon so our kids are close in age.

S-Mama (Me) has been very adamant about waiting.

We just can't seem to agree.
I go back and forth on a daily basis about wanting another kiddo or wanting to wait a little longer.
Yesterday I was convinced we were going to start trying to have another baby after the summer, but, today I'm second guessing myself.
Here are some of my thoughts:
  • Caderyn was not a planned pregnancy by Jeff or I. He was a planned pregnancy by the Higher Power and is truly a blessing. At the time, I didn't think Jeff or I were ready to be parents, but someone else did and He was right! So, my thoughts on this are, if it happens, it happens and it happens because it was meant to be, just as our little man was meant to be.
  • My delivery was atrocious. My delivery with the little man still gives me chills. There were complications that could, in my opinion, have easily been avoided if my doctor had been more of a presence in the room. I remember up to a certain point and then everything gets really fuzzy. I remember being so scared for little man when he came out and how my arms ached from wanting to hold him and hear his little cry. The thought of going through something like this again and worrying about the safety of my sweet little baby terrifies me.
    • To counter this, I have since decided that my next delivery will be with a midwife in the hospital setting. I have also decided that I would like- like being the key word here- to try and do a completely natural childbirth. I felt in my first delivery I just didn't have any control and I want to have the control and be aware of what the heck is going on. I've met with the midwife I want to use and LOVE HER. So...that's a bonus.
  • I gained 70 pounds during my pregnancy. That's right a big 7-0. I ate like it was going out of style. I've just now gotten all of that baby weight off and am immensely enjoying being fit, feeling attractive again and drinking a glass of wine or beer occasionally. That's right. I'm vain.
    • To counter this, I don't think I will eat like I did during my first pregnancy and will probably be much more active. I know for sure I don't want to gain all that weight back!
  • Our future is just so uncertain right now. With Jeff going into Officer Training and probably Flight School in the near future, I don't like the idea of being left alone, single parenting two children. It was hard enough working full-time and being a single parent with one child. I think I would probably lose my mind with two. Plus, I'm back in school trying to get a teaching degree and I really like having some flexibility with traveling. Caderyn is at an age where he travels a little better than before. I can't imagine how traveling with two will unfold. Plus, there is probably a move for the W family in the near future and I don't want to move while pregnant (did that once it wasn't fun) or have a brand new baby and move across country. Just to clarify this- if Jeff gets into flight school, we'll probably have to move to either Texas or Alabama for a year so he can get his training. Then, we're pretty sure we'll be back in Montana. I'm actually excited about the possibility of this move because it puts me close to places I've always wanted to visit like Louisiana and Georgia.
  • But, I also know I don't really want to have any kids once I'm past 30.  This gives me roughly less than 4 years to have another babe or two.
  • Some days, like yesterday, I think one child is enough. But, then there are days when I can't imagine our house without one or two more little kiddos.
So...where does that put us?
I don't know. We want to have more kids, but when we will remains up in the air.
What are YOUR thoughts on having more children???


Sarah said...

I think if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. You're both highly capable of taking care of another, and you're such a strong woman that you can handle "single parenting" with just a touch of stress . My thought is, don't try, but don't NOT try. Like I said, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be! (Of course, selfishly I want you to pop another kid out NOW, because you guys make pretty darn cute babies together. My sensible side is saying "They should wait." I fear I am as conflicted as you my friend!!!)

The McGregor Clan said...

You know I would have two cents. :) I don't think there is a right or wrong. My personal opinion is wait (just a bit). Life is VERY different with two. I can't imagine having two that close together. My plan was to have Alana potty trained and a bit more self reliant before we got pregnant the second time. It took us longer than expected to get pregnant, BUT I love her being older. She is very helpful and self sufficient when I need to tend to James. I just know my friends that have two really close in age sometimes struggle with have two 'babies.' Again though, i am with your friend Sarah. You guys make some cute kids and God will be with you HOWEVER it works out. Love ya'll. (I would love for you guys to move to Alabama) :)