Friday, July 1, 2011

A MESSAGE FROM THE PRINCESS TO HER LOYAL SUBJECTS

Am I not the sexiest little dog you have ever seen?
Am I not the prettiest thing to waddle upon this planet?

If Lucy were to take a quiz from one of those teeny bopper magazine I used to read, this is how I imagine it would sound.

1. Name: Lucy
2. Nicknames: Lucifer, Lucious, Princess Dog, Stinklebutt, Lucious Malfoy, Luce Goose, The Goose.
3.Favorite Color: How should I know? I'm colorblind.
4. Favorite food: dog food or anything that falls on the floor.
5. Favorite book: Dogzilla
6. What is your best asset? My butt. Kim Kardashian is jealous of my wiggle.


 7. What is your favorite thing to do?
 Go for walks, chase balls, get attention, hog the couch, KILL SQUIRRELS (though I have yet to catch one), look ridiculously cute.


8. What is your biggest pet peeve? My brother. One day he wasn't here and I was the center of attention and love. Now he's here and I have to work day in and day out to get love and attention from my parents. They don't understand me. Life is so unfair.



9. What do you aspire to do one day? 
     Catch a squirrel and make it mine. I hate squirrels. I have become a professional squirrel stalker.



10. What happens next if you accomplish these aspirations.
     I will sleep.
And then probably take a poop.

If you took this quiz and answered, then you're probably a cute little dog who suffers some emotional anxiety over not getting as much attention as you were once used to. You probably waddle around the house looking sad, barking/ talking to get attention. You laze around on the furniture producing melo-dramatic sighs to inform people YOU are still here. When you feel naughty you and your short little legs find their way into the garbage can where you get into all kinds of trouble. You also think its funny to play a version of doggy-tag late at night when all mommy wants to do is go to bed. Still, you race around and around the yard at Mach 3 speed so that mommy can't catch you. You are stubborn and full of yourself.
You have a wonderful personality and are very much loved by your family- although, you might think differently. You lick feet and faces and love to get right up in everyone's  business so they will notice you.

Saucy

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