And now, a message from her royal highness,
Princess Lucerene of Luchester:
Hark! Be that my fellow followers?
How doth thou fair on this fine Monday?
My day was exhausting.
First. I woketh up. Then I licketh my bottom. This be true.
Then I scratcheth my back upon the floor.
Next I took a nap upon my couch.
Then that little man child woketh up.
Ugh. How I despise him.
He was bothering-eth me so I went-eth outside.
I did my lady business before putting my pretty head upon a bed of green grass.
Then,I took a nap upon this bed as tendrils of sunlight slowly crept my way.
It was glorious.
Then I came inside and took another napeth until my female servant got home from work.
From there I commanded her to throw my tennis ball over a hundred times.
She obeyed. Such a good female servant.
Then I took a nap.
Are you not jealous of my glorious lifestyle?
Am I not the most amazing dog on this planet?
I'll let you sniff that one out.