Monday, October 24, 2011


Dear Bertha:
Although sometimes I act like a snooty little princess, I really am glad you're my cousin.
Now, I know you're new to this family, so I'm gonna give you some tips on how to handle this family of ours.

Tip 1: Master the mournful "You don't love me anymore" look in order to capitalize on excess amounts of pets and snuggles. This look should also induce extreme amounts of guilt that will build and fester overtime until your human servants decide to finally take you for a walk.

Tip 2: Really nail down a signature move. Mine is the "Who me?"
This will always get you out of trouble.

Tip 3: Squirrels are evil. We must work together to conquer this dastardly foe.
They sit up in their trees thinking they're so high and mighty, flicking those tails that I just want to gnaw on.
Evil I tell you.

Tip 4: Uncle Taylor gives the best snuggles.
He is a good human.

Tip 5: Always, always sit and sleep like a lady.
Tip 6: Sometimes our humans do things we don't understand. Just go along with it and it's okay to be confused.

Tip 7: Although they are our enemies, those tiny man-children sometimes drop good snacks.
Never take your eyes off them.

Tip 8: The humans bed is just a much yours as theirs. Make sure you spread yourself out to get the best sleep.
Tip 9: When tired of all the camera flashes capturing your obvious cuteness, just turn around and show them your butt. Oddly, humans think this is just as cute and will continue to snap pictures.

Tip 10: If you are having a really rough day, putting your ears down and looking more pitiful than usual will garner lots of snuggles and maybe they will even take you outside to throw the ball.

Tip 11: The Duchess of Cambridge ain't got nothing on us Corgis. Look at how regal we are.

Just use these tips and you should be set.
Welcome to the family.

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