Monday, January 30, 2012


So I'm home sick today with a wicked sinus infection. It prevents me from sleeping. The space between my eyebrows feels like I have a giant, pulsing horn emerging from it. I can't lie down because I can't breathe and I can't sit up because it hurts too much.
So I have no interesting posts. We went to Missoula this weekend to see the Hubster and some of my family. It was lovely, we ate a lot of food. But I got sick and it is still lingering. Oh well. Next time will be better. I so love Missoula.
Anywhoooo. I've been doing a lot of reading still. I am that girl that now wakes up at 5:00 a.m. and is unable to go back to sleep so I usually read in bed until 6 or 6:30.
I did read through these two wonderful books:

These were large books but I was able to plow through both of them in about two weeks- one book per week. These are historical fiction and I love that.
There is also a third book, this:

But I'm taking a tiny break (aka, the Library doesn't have it in yet)
and I am currently reading this:

And I love it.

I love reading!

Friday, January 27, 2012


For his Grandparents this coming Valentine's Day, Caderyn (and by that, I mean mostly me) made these to be stuffed in their Valentine's Day cards:

Super easy! The only difference was that I put the "This much" on the other hand because I felt that made more sense. I'm excited!

Also, yesterday I made the mistake of telling my son we would be going to Missoula to visit Daddy and all of my aunts and uncles and grandparents who live there. Since those words of promise left my mouth, I have been asked probably every two minutes,
 "Can we go to Missoula? Pwease? Pwease can we go to Missoula now?"
It hasn't stopped.
I severely regretted telling him around 2:00 a.m. when he woke up for the second time, wide awake, asking me if it was time to go to Missoula.
He proceeded to wake up and ask me every two hours on the got. I'm amazed.
I'm also super tired.
But I'm amazed.
I also think he takes after me in the excitement
I am that girl that couldn't sleep the night before something fun. Most Christmas Eve's I never slept and then was up around 4:00 a.m. to check if Santa came.
And now I've passed it on to my son...CURSES!
But at the same time, I enjoy hearing how excited and hopeful he is. It was the only thing that made me smile at 4:00 a.m.
I'm going to take a nap later.
Oh, and I have a zit the size of Jupiter on my chin.
It's awesome.

Thursday, January 26, 2012


Last night for dinner I made this:
It is slow cooker chicken and dumplings.
Super easy!
Since it's just Caderyn and I eating together these days, I used two chicken breasts and only one can of cream of chicken. I did add a little bit of veggie stock, just for some more flavor.
2 T of butter
1/2c to 1 c of minced onions.
I added a little salt and pepper and some frozen corn into my mix.
Cover and cook on low for 6 hours.
Does anyone else have a crockpot that cooks like a demon?
I put this all together yesterday morning before work and I came home around 11am for lunch and it was already burning on my crockpot sides! This happens a ton, even when I stir it every hour or so. Hmmm!
So then once you're nearly ready to eat dinner, you open a can of biscuits and tear them all to pieces and add to the mixture. Cook on high for 30 minutes and serve.
It was a very hearty dinner and very easy. Not my most favorite, but it was yummy.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


So lately, I've been dealing with the terrible twos.
Lots of people have told me the second year was great for them, but it was the third year that really did them in.
Well, Caderyn's second year started off pretty good, but now, all of the sudden I have this little boy who resembles a midget of a teenager.
I'm constantly being told "No."
I'm constantly being bossed around.
I'm constantly listening to screams and cries from the time out spot.
Time out is a regular occurrence in our house. So is door slamming.
I'm constantly negotiating to get stuff done.
I can't go to the bathroom by myself or even have a moment without a little boy all up in my grill either whining about something or telling me I should be doing something else.

In a sense, I'm exhausted.

But that's what being a parent is all about, right?

I love that kid to death. He really is the sweetest little guy.
But yesterday, oh yesterday!
Yesterday he was in trouble nearly all day at daycare for hitting and throwing tantrums.
He's also started this thing where he won't budge when we need to go somewhere or I'm trying to redirect him. So, usually what I'll do is tell him he can walk on his own starting now or I'm going to count to three and when I get to three and he hasn't moved, I'm going to carry him.
I usually end up carrying him and he usually freaks out.
So yesterday, after talking to my daycare lady about his behavior, we walked outside and Caderyn put the breaks on. He wouldn't budge and after numerous attempts to get him walking I quietly told him he could walk on his own or I would carry him out after I counted to three.
I counted to three and got no movement so I picked him up and hauled him down the stairs all the way to the car with him kicking and screaming. I put him in his car seat where he proceeded to scream and kick and sound pretty much like a spawn of Satan.
We made it home, he still hadn't stopped and he went limp noodle on me when I was trying to get him inside so I took him right in and put him in time out.
I told him he needed to calm down and then we would talk about what was wrong.
While he screamed and cried and hit the wall with his hand, I grabbed one of my parenting books and tried to find something, anything that would help me out. We were on like day three of this behavior and my patience was very, very thin.
After ten minutes, he calmed down enough where I could talk to him. We climbed in to his bed together and had a calm talk about hitting and yelling and how that wasn't okay. I also asked him if he was acting like this because he missed his Daddy.
He told me yes and also that he missed me.
I told him I missed him too, but that Mommy had to work and Daddy was at school. But, even though I had to work, I always came to pick him up and we always went home together.

After our little chat and some snuggles, things were pretty good.
My friend came over and watched Caderyn for an hour so I could go to the gym- THANK YOU!
Got back from the gym and Caderyn started acting like a demon child again. He wanted me to hold him.
This is fine, except my back has been killing me so I tried sitting down and holding him and he threw a huge fit over that.
I was kind of embarrassed at his behavior in front of my friend, when he'd been so good only two seconds before.
So I said goodbye to my friend above Caderyn's screams and commands.
Inside I went and into his room to start getting him ready for a tub.
More screams and body throws ensued when he told me he didn't want a tub.
I ignored this and continued to undress him, well then he hauled off and hit me in the face.

I saw red.
I had to take a few deep breaths and then I did something I'm not proud of and really try very hard not to do.
I swatted him on the butt. My disappointment in myself was over the "hitting for hitting" punishment, which I don't think shows them anything.

But I am human. I make mistakes.
So Caderyn was in timeout again and I had to shut the door to his room to block out some of his awful screams and shouts.
I sat down at our table and texted my husband, "Pretty sure I'm the worst mom ever and will ruin our kids."
My bottom lip was quivering and I was having a really great pity party while listening to my sons Gollum-like shrieks. But then he calmed down and I mentally slapped myself in the face.
"Buck up Sarah," I said, "Keep this kid moving through life."
One day isn't going to scar him. Although I might feel that I've ruined him, I probably haven't. One little spanking isn't going to hurt him and he eventually has to learn that his behavior is not acceptable.
It is not okay to hit.
It is not okay to scream.
It is not okay to boss Mommy around (sometimes it is, but not like he's doing).

And the only way he's going to learn this is through me. I am his number one educator and I need to show him in a calm, collected manner how to navigate this world.
So after a quick tub and a tooth brush, Caderyn and I settled into his bed with some books. I stroked his cheek and told him I loved him. We talked about being frustrated and that it was okay to get upset sometimes. I told him I was sorry for spanking him, and he said he was sorry for being naughty (again, where is he learning these words! I NEVER tell him he is naughty.).
"Caderyn," I said. "You're not naughty at all. I think you're just frustrated and don't know how to tell Mommy what is wrong."
"Mmmmm yes," he said.

After books were read and kisses were given, I stayed in his room with him until he fell asleep. I kissed his cheeks and rubbed his back, trying in some physical way to show him that everything was okay. That we were okay. That he would be okay.

He slept through the night last night...first time in...probably a month.
He did get up at 5:00 a.m. and crawl in to bed with me until 6:00 a.m.
We had a good morning.
There was no screaming, only a minimum of bossiness and lots of snuggles.
He and I sat on the couch together this morning and talked again about being frustrated and how we don't hit or yell, taking our frustrations out on other people.
Caderyn again told me, "But I miss you."
I replied, "I miss you too when I'm at work, but you know I always will come to get you at the end of the day."

"Yes and that makes me so happy!" he said.

It makes me happy too.

Lord if I can only survive these terrible twos!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


I've tried to be really faithful about taking a weekly belly photo. I didn't do that with Caderyn and I regret missing out on those moments.

For your viewing pleasure, the ever growing belly! I'm missing a few weeks. The early ones because of all the crazy that happened there and then one or two weeks in between my now almost 19 week mark.

The day we found out we were pregnant. 4 weeks.
And then all that crazy stuff happened so there is a lull here.

11 weeks 

12 weeks 

14 weeks 

16 weeks 

17 weeks 

18 weeks

Isn't it funny how different clothes make the bump look bigger or smaller???

Oh and just for comparison fun. Here is my bump at 18 weeks with Caderyn:


Monday, January 23, 2012


I've been pinning like crazy. I still get a really odd satisfaction when someone new starts following me or repins something of mine. I want to do the crazy person laugh.

This weekend, my toddler was driving me bonkers. He was sick and restless. So I grabbed some finger paint and shaving cream and we had ourselves a shaving cream painting party. Caderyn was really in to the paining part of it for about 20 minutes, but then he thought it was more fun to put all of the shaving cream into a bowl of water and see the colors mix. Make sure your paint is washable. The mess was catastrophic when he was finished, but it only looked that way. It probably took me two minutes to clean everything up. Not bad at all.

I found this idea here

Last weekend, I made these:

I followed the directions exactly, no substitutions. These turned out really yummy, the only thing I might suggest is not cooking them in your Pyrex glassware. It distorted the shape a little on mine. They still tasted really good though!


Thank you iPhone. I love a non-weird kind of way.
Kind of a bummer of a weekend. Caderyn was sick and then I got sick.
Thank heavens Jeff was home or I would have lost it!
Friday, Jeff surprised us by getting home early! We ran some errands and then had dinner at Costco before renting a movie and going home.
Saturday Caderyn went to the doctor, I slept for three straight hours to get rid of my yuckies. We ate pizza again and then met some friends at a basketball game.
Sunday I made breakfast. We gracefully bowed out of church due to the sickness in our family and just lounged at home all day. I ran a few errands, made a yummy dinner, Jeff headed back to Missoula and I fought my poor coughing child all night trying to get him to fall asleep.

Breathing treatments galore

Shaving cream painting!

Snarky dog

Lazy dog waiting for the ball to come to her.

Saturday, January 21, 2012


I think most parents out there would agree that there is nothing worse than having a sick child.
And the worst is when they have a fever.
Those fevers are scary.
We've only had one fever that has ended us up in the hospital, and that was when Caderyn had RSV at 5 weeks old. We ended up staying in the hospital with him for a week.
Since then, Caderyn has been pretty good with the fevers, its mostly just been his ears that have been making him sick.

Well last night we encountered the EVIL fever. The one that is high and makes you think you might, just might need to take your child to the emergency room. I don't know what other people think, but my idea of a fever that needs to be seen by a doctor is 104. If it reaches 104, we go in right away.
Caderyn's highest temp last night was 103.8 and I just about lost it. He'd had a pretty high one all day, hovering between 101 and 103, but his energy levels were really good and he took fluids like a champ and was able to, you know, get rid of them.
So when his fever went up just those little extra points last night, I was nearly in full on panic mode.
We did cool baths- at least three last night. We did Tylenol. We did minimal activity- it was a movie night. We did cool wash cloths. We gave him copious amounts of water.
Nothing worked.
That is the scariest thing. That you work and work for hours to try and get this fever on track and it only stays right where it is.
So finally we just put him to bed. Poor guy was sweating so badly he didn't sleep well at all. He woke up around midnight just drenched in sweat.
But, at this point, we realized his cheeks and forehead were cool. We took a quick temp and found his fever was down to about 101. A huge sigh of relief!

Today we are going to the doctor. Hopefully he just caught some bug that was going around.
I despise the fevers more than anything else in the world- even more than explosive poopy diapers!

These are just some of my experiences with the dreaded fever. As you can see, sometimes what we try to do works and other times it doesn't. What does everyone else do to keep their childrens' fevers at bay?

Friday, January 20, 2012


Simple title. Simple post.

We got dumped on here. This was just yesterday. It snowed up to the bottom of chairs. My bumper on my Subaru was nearly covered and I have snow all the way up to my knees.
Winter is here!
We've been hanging low trying to stay warm and prevent anything from freezing!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


I'm pretty sure I'm just one of about a bazillion Moms to say this:

We have been struggling with bed time lately.

Makes me think of this

Oh it is just SO frustrating!
Caderyn got a big boy bed from his grandparents for Christmas and he has actually been doing really well with it. The only thing is he won't go to sleep until sometimes almost 11:00 p.m.


Some nights I find myself going in to his room three or four times a night. He either gets out of his bed and comes out to find me or he cries and cries until I go in there.
I don't really mind going in there, I love that he finds comfort in my presence, but I just really wish he would go to sleep and get more rest.
He is starting to get into the "I'm scared" and imaginative phase.  
I always try to tell him he is safe, that I'm right here and that monsters aren't real.
He also sometimes wakes up in the middle in the night from a nightmare where there is a bear or a cat chasing him. I find this odd because some of my most terrifying nightmares from when I was little and still today involve bears.
 Just so we're clear on this. I'm absolutely terrified of bears. I can't even stand to be near them at the zoo. I pretty much start to have a freak out attack.
It worries me to think that my two-year-old has such vivid dreams and nightmares. There were some nights where I prolonged going to sleep, just to prevent another scary bear dream from happening.
I hope with all of my heart that Caderyn doesn't have dreams like this.

But, going back to the bed time thing. Yeah. So it's a little frustrating. Some nights he's great, other nights he's not and I want to pull my hair out.

Yesterday, I was determined to tire him out so he would sleep well.
 I took him to the Science Center and we met up with a friend.
Those two kids played and played until the place closed.
Caderyn proceeded to throw a thirty minute temper tantrum once we left.
He did kick and scream a lot, but man, I got him ready for bed faster than ever! I just plopped his screaming little body into the tub, scrubbed him really good, got him in his pjs while he was still crying and kicking (be impressed) and snuggled him on the couch where he finally calmed down.
 All of this without breaking a sweat or losing my cool.
He and I snuggled on the couch, ate a little bowl of cereal and brushed our teeth.
Then we went into his room and read some stories before kisses and good night.
I only had to go in there once last night and it was because he had picked a scab and it started bleeding. Band Aid took care of that.
Not wanting to head back out to the pile of laundry I was folding, I hopped in to bed with him. That's the nice thing about this new bed. It's super comfy and Mommy or Daddy can fit on it with Caderyn.
So we snugged together. I rubbed his back and tickled his face and neck (my family loves the tickles) and then Caderyn proceeded to do the same to my face.
My heart melted.
He was getting drowsy at this point (HUZZAH!) but he looked at me and said, "Mommy, are you happy?"
To which I replied," Yes Caderyn, very happy."
"Oh good," he said. "Me too."
And he was out like a light.
It was just like a Hollywood movie and I just loved it. That little boy sure is something special to me, even if he sometimes doesn't go to sleep until 11:00 p.m. at night and then gets up at 5:00 a.m.
No matter how many times I have to go in to his room at night, whether its to give him more water, calm his fears or tuck him back into bed, I will always be happy to do it.
I may not be outwardly happy...especially at 3:00 a.m.
But internally I'm singing praise that he still needs me and trusts in me to take care of him and solve all of his problems.
He won't let me do that forever, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Ladies and gents, we are a mere three weeks away from finding out the gender of this little one.
I'm excited.
I got the okay from my doctor to workout. By "working out" she means I can walk on the treadmill and do arm strength training. I do what I can when I can and it feels so good to move!
Weight gain has been all over with this baby. I attribute that to not being able to do anything for like three months, but I can just see it everywhere. I do think my belly is smaller now that it was at this time with Caderyn. My legs are definitely bigger.
My cravings this past week were pizza-- always pizza-- and Sweetarts. You bet I got those and enjoyed them. I am still crazy for water. I just can't get enough water.
My sleep with this pregnancy hasn't been very good. I usually go to bed around 11:00 p.m. and can stay asleep until 3:45 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. if there are no interruptions from Caderyn. But once I wake up, oh I'm in pain! My abdominal area and hips just ache and I can never get comfortable. So I usually don't go back to sleep and I end up reading. That, my friends, is how I am able to get through some of these books so quickly! I read until 6ish or until Caderyn wakes up and comes into my room and then start to get ready for the day ahead of us. 
Compared to my first pregnancy, I have no energy. But I still do manage to get stuff done, keep my house semi-clean and occasionally remember to bathe my son :)
We find out what the baby is on the third of February. I'm still trying to think of a creative way to tell people, but, alas, creativity is eluding me these days. 
So if you have any good ideas, please let me know. 
I still think we're having a girl. 
Either way I will be over the moon, but my gut just tells me girl. 
We'll see how my intuition goes- I got it right with Caderyn.  

Monday, January 16, 2012

Friday, January 13, 2012


This is what my after work wardrobe looks like these days.
A t-shirt. The belly. My awesome new pajama pants that are super pink and super warm and my new mucklucks.
All of these combined make me super happy!

Thursday, January 12, 2012


And this is what my house looks like after a vacation.
Crap everywhere.

Home today. Caderyn has pink eye. Maybe I will finally put a dent in EVERYTHING!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Last night, I sat down to watch Sex and the City 2.
For some reason, I was compelled to put it on my Netflix.
As I watched it, I was hit with some startling aggravations.
Man. This movie really sucks.

Sure, it revisits some of our favorite TV characters who so many people think they relate to, but in reality, these women are on a completely different planet than 99% of all women in the world.
I mean, I guess it's fun to watch them and see their antics, the places they get to go, the extravagances, the fashion (which was pretty crappy i think- although I'm more of a Miranda/Charlotte dresser these days).
But the more I watched the show, the more frustrated I became at the antics, the places they go, the extravagances and the fashion.
My reasoning's:

1. The antics.
These are grown women. Act like it! I point mainly to the Samantha character, who, in typical Samantha fashion gets in trouble because of an overzealous sex drive. But I watched in horror as she made Americans- or, American women- look like sluts. I was embarrassed that she was depicted as being joyful that America is awesome because you can be intimate with a man on a beach. But of course, this is fantasy, and that is Samantha, but something about that depiction bothered me. It made me feel...bad. Like, is that how our country is seen? As a place where you can be with a guy wherever and whenever you want. I'm not trying to put women with a Samantha mentality down, that's just fine if that's how you roll, but have some decency and maintain some level of privacy. Don't share it with the world.

Another thing that really bothered me was when Charlotte and Miranda sat down at the bar to talk about how hard motherhood was. Now, granted, they both admitted they had full-time nannies/help and didn't know how other people did it. But, I go back to the fact that they had full-time help. Who does that? Who would want that? I understand if you're working full-time and maybe have a job that is so important you're needed around the clock and making biggo bucks, but I'm working full-time and I still have to go home and be the wife, the mother and the house keeper. No help. I'm pretty sure everyone else out there does it to, so what gives these women the right to sit there, sip their alcoholic pink drinks and tell me how hard it is to be a mom and a wife?

One other thing that bothered me was when Charlotte got mad at her daughter for getting red paint on her vintage skirt. I admit, I gasped. That was a lovely skirt. But why would she be wearing something so valuable and precious while baking and at home? I rarely wear nice, expensive clothes when I'm at home. Typical jeans, t-shirt and sweat pants gal. Now, if I'm going out of the house. I am usually the last one to get dressed and all food and crafts have been put away so I can go to work looking fairly put together (doesn't always happen, but I try).

2. The places they go.
Actually, I wasn't really all that frustrated with this. I was just annoyed at how extravagant everything seemed. Like, have they ever stayed at a Holiday Inn? Those are okay too and very cost effective.

3. The extravagances
Again, reality check. Sure, it's fun to dream that one day you will live in a New York penthouse where your husband buys you a black diamond after you kiss another man, but, seriously? I felt that all of the stuff these women had handed to them was just another example of how materialistic America actually is. Now- Big's first anniversary gift to Carrie- the "TV so they could watch old movies together" was actually really sweet and thoughtful. But she threw that one to the curb. I think this also distorts some people's ideas of marriage and relationships. None of their relationships are perfect, but I just kept getting so annoyed at how nothing, nothing at all would ever go like that in the real world. It was all just so...cheesy. Hollywood.

4. The fashion
I rolled my eyes at the end when the Abu Dabi women unrobed themselves showing off the latest Louis Vutton fashions. Seriously? Is that all we care about is fashion? There are starving children, abuse, murder and corruption and all these women are portrayed as caring about is fashion? I wanted to vomit. Now, I did enjoy some of the styles, but fashion isn't my focus in life. Others may feel differently and that's great! If you have the passion for fashion- go for it! But I would much rather focus on my family, being happy in life and working on being a better person that spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on clothes. I enjoy the beautifulness of clothes and admire the work it takes to put together a fabulous collection, but do I have to own it? No.

I'm not trying to put Sex and the City down. I own all six seasons! I watch them, usually once or twice a year on a weekend when I'm sick or have the whole weekend to myself. I always cry during the episode where Miranda's mom dies, I laugh over Charlotte getting her face licked by the "bad kisser" and I am so angry at Carrie when she loses Aidan.

But, this movie just really rubbed me the wrong way. And since this is my blog and I can write about whatever I want, I wanted to write about that. It's been bugging me most of the day.
But, I will close with my favorite, favorite quote
 "No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you'll never get through it without your friends." C.B.

True for all forms of relationships.


Someone got a train table for Christmas from Santa.
Since then, his train addiction has gone through the roof.

Monday, January 9, 2012


Actually sat still long enough for me to take a picture!

This guy:
His name is Caderyn
He is two years and ten months old- crazy!
He NEVER stops talking. E.V.E.R.
He still loves trucks, trains, planes and any kind of rescue machine.
He loves watching movies and snuggling.
He loves playing with trains.
He loves reading.
He is learning letters and can recognize an 'E' and an 'S'
(which is pretty good considering we only started last week)
Can back talk like a champion.
Hates time out after back talking.
Has a temper.
Has a sweet, sweet side.
Just wants people to play cars or trains with him all day long.
Loves to dance and jump and run.
Sat through church for the first time on Sunday without barely a complaint
(we did leave after communion, but that was because I didn't want to push my luck)
Says the funniest things, like, "Mommy, I'm a chicken and I pooped an egg."
That little snippet was from this morning.
Still loves his Pooh Bear blankie.
Is sleeping in a big boy bed.
Still doesn't want to potty train.
Loves his great-grandparents and grandparents with all of his heart.
Enjoyed Christmas to the fullest extent this year.
Has hair that won't stay down even after minute upon minute of brushing.
Still loves waffles with peanut butter.
Stalls his bed time by asking to snuggle (who can say no to that?)
Sometimes thinks he is a dinosaur.
And that is my guy.


I loved how this mom incorporated so many veggies into something that sounded so yummy. I'm not a huge veggie fan, but each of her meals sounded so good.

So, before Christmas, I made each one of these recipes and froze them in my freezer as directed.
Yesterday, I pulled out the BBQ Chicken one and let in thaw a little while we were at church.
Then I threw it in my crock pot on high until 6:00 p.m. and splashed a little vegetable broth over it.
I served it over brown rice and thought it tasted SO yummy! It did need a little extra dash of salt and pepper.

My thoughts- don't cook on high past hour 4. It did get a smidge on the mushy side. The prep time took forever with all of the cutting and storing, but its totally worth it. Just make sure you have enough time to get it all done. I would suggest like an hour free of interruptions.

And for dessert I made this:

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bread.

So good and so easy! As some of you probably know, I'm a big fan of altering recipes. This one was not intentional though. I went to add the chocolate chips (my favorite additive in the whole wide world!) and found I only had white chocolate chips. So I added those. Good news! It still tastes just as good!


In case you're interested...

What I've Read (Since December 12- Present):
First Book
Read this and loved it. Odd, yes, but very interesting.

Second Book

Third Book 

Third Book 
LOVE LOVE LOVE. Sad book, but still LOVE it.

And if you're still interested, here is what I am currently reading:

And here is my on-deck book:

Any other good books you want to throw my way????

Friday, January 6, 2012


This morning started off rough.
I stayed up super late last night finishing my book. I just couldn't put it down and before I knew what I was doing I was on the last page and it was 12:30 a.m.
My sleep wasn't restful and Caderyn had fitful dreams that kept waking me up because he would call out my name in his sleep.
Then he woke up gagging and saying his tummy hurt. My eyes were barely open.
Shortly after that he pooped and it was liquid and went EVERYWHERE. Oh lord. Vomit I can handle, but poop that leaks everywhere and sticks just makes me sick.
So I quickly undressed him as best I could without getting poop everywhere and plopped him in the tub while I proceeded to start laundry and scrub and scrub the poop spots.
Caderyn took this moment to throw a tantrum- probably because I wasn't paying attention to him while he wasn't feeling all that great- and threw his tub toys still in the bucket out of the tub getting toys and water everywhere. All the while screaming at me.
I lost my cool, I admit.
So did he.
There was a bottom swat involved and then an extended period in time out.
Then there was some arguing about him picking up the toys that he threw, which he refused to do, so I picked them up and took the toys away for the weekend.
He sat in time out again because of his reaction to losing the toys which continued until I finally just decided to put him back in his bed, turn out the lights and shut the door.
After five minutes, I was able to get semi-ready for work and reflect on what had happened. Caderyn's crying had subsided.
I walked into the room and immediately scooped him up.
I apologized for losing my temper and I told him I loved him. I rocked him, kissed his head and rubbed his back.
He said he was sorry. He was frustrated. A two-year-old frustrated?
My heart ached.
Usually Caderyn is so happy when he wakes up and we talk and talk all morning.
Why was this morning so different?
Part of me thinks it was the poop. That must have put us both in a bad mood. That poop would have put anybody in a bad mood!
But another part of me thinks Caderyn was lashing out for his Daddy being gone. I think he misses him and knows that something isn't quite right in our house.

Sidenote: My husband moved an hour and a half away this week to start going to school full-time for a Master's in Business Administration and become an officer in ROTC. We support him one hundred percent, but we miss him very, very much during the week.
As I've thought about my morning some more, I always find myself so amazed at just how perceptive my
little man is.

He misses his Dad and so does Mommy. He senses the loneliness and he himself probably feels lonely.

But the good news is that Jeff will be home from school this weekend. He does have to drill during the days, but I know Caderyn will be particularly happy to see him tonight. There will be lots of snuggling, kissing and train playing involved.
This morning was just another challenge thrown my way. I am now taking time to reflect on how I acted and how Caderyn reacted (both were unfavorable) and mentally reconstruct how I need to handle a situation like that in the future.
There will be plenty more temper tantrums. There will be plenty more chances for me to lose my cool.
But it will never go the same way again.
I am certain about that.
It's always nice to know you can have another chance to better yourself with each new morning.

Thursday, January 5, 2012


When I was pregnant with Caderyn, I never had weird cravings.
Sure, I had cravings (um, hello! Cupcakes and Mexican food), but nothing that was odd like dipping a pickle in peanut butter.

But with this little babe, it's weird.
It's like I want something, but I don't quite know what it is.
I still want pizza like all of the time. But I also want veggies and fruit and cereal and water. Oh lord! One woman simply can't get enough water. I don't really want sweets. I treated myself to a blizzard after my doctor's appointment yesterday and only ate about half of it before I felt sick. Sick I tell you! This is a momentous occasion because I DO NOT let ice cream go to waste. My grandpas would surely disown me.
So last night, Caderyn was in bed and my house was semi-clean and I was hungry. But I didn't know what I wanted. So I rifled through my cupboards, considered making a grilled cheese. Considered making rice. Considered ordering pizza and then remembered we're pretty broke and I shouldn't be doing that anymore. So then I grabbed a bag of sea salted veggie chips. I paused. Then I grabbed some applesauce.
And you know what I did?
I sat on my couch and dipped every single one of those sea salted veggie chips into my applesauce.
And it tasted soooooooooo goooooooooooood.
Who would have thought?

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


We alternate Christmas every year between the families. This year it was Jeff's year to be with his family and we spent our first ever Christmas up at his parents' new cabin. We shall for now call it "The Windy Vista."
Nestled at the base of a mountain and overlooking prairie and grazing fields sits this secluded gem. Twenty miles from the nearest town (I think) we do nothing but lounge and play up there. If the wind doesn't knock your socks off, you can take out the ATVs, look for game, shoot bee bee guns at targets or watch the glorious sunsets and sunrises.
This trip involved lots of lounging, eating, game playing and talking. But mostly eating on my part.
Here are my pictures from Christmas Eve. I'm hoping to get a few more pictures from family to add to my "Christmas 2011 Extravaganza!"

A very pretty tree and lots and lots of lounging!