Friday, January 6, 2012

FRAZZLEDAZZLE


This morning started off rough.
I stayed up super late last night finishing my book. I just couldn't put it down and before I knew what I was doing I was on the last page and it was 12:30 a.m.
My sleep wasn't restful and Caderyn had fitful dreams that kept waking me up because he would call out my name in his sleep.
Then he woke up gagging and saying his tummy hurt. My eyes were barely open.
Shortly after that he pooped and it was liquid and went EVERYWHERE. Oh lord. Vomit I can handle, but poop that leaks everywhere and sticks just makes me sick.
So I quickly undressed him as best I could without getting poop everywhere and plopped him in the tub while I proceeded to start laundry and scrub and scrub the poop spots.
Caderyn took this moment to throw a tantrum- probably because I wasn't paying attention to him while he wasn't feeling all that great- and threw his tub toys still in the bucket out of the tub getting toys and water everywhere. All the while screaming at me.
I lost my cool, I admit.
So did he.
There was a bottom swat involved and then an extended period in time out.
Then there was some arguing about him picking up the toys that he threw, which he refused to do, so I picked them up and took the toys away for the weekend.
He sat in time out again because of his reaction to losing the toys which continued until I finally just decided to put him back in his bed, turn out the lights and shut the door.
After five minutes, I was able to get semi-ready for work and reflect on what had happened. Caderyn's crying had subsided.
I walked into the room and immediately scooped him up.
I apologized for losing my temper and I told him I loved him. I rocked him, kissed his head and rubbed his back.
He said he was sorry. He was frustrated. A two-year-old frustrated?
My heart ached.
Usually Caderyn is so happy when he wakes up and we talk and talk all morning.
Why was this morning so different?
Part of me thinks it was the poop. That must have put us both in a bad mood. That poop would have put anybody in a bad mood!
But another part of me thinks Caderyn was lashing out for his Daddy being gone. I think he misses him and knows that something isn't quite right in our house.


Sidenote: My husband moved an hour and a half away this week to start going to school full-time for a Master's in Business Administration and become an officer in ROTC. We support him one hundred percent, but we miss him very, very much during the week.
As I've thought about my morning some more, I always find myself so amazed at just how perceptive my
little man is.


He misses his Dad and so does Mommy. He senses the loneliness and he himself probably feels lonely.


But the good news is that Jeff will be home from school this weekend. He does have to drill during the days, but I know Caderyn will be particularly happy to see him tonight. There will be lots of snuggling, kissing and train playing involved.
This morning was just another challenge thrown my way. I am now taking time to reflect on how I acted and how Caderyn reacted (both were unfavorable) and mentally reconstruct how I need to handle a situation like that in the future.
There will be plenty more temper tantrums. There will be plenty more chances for me to lose my cool.
But it will never go the same way again.
I am certain about that.
It's always nice to know you can have another chance to better yourself with each new morning.

1 comment:

John, Janna, Alana, Thomas, and James said...

That was a rough morning! I hate poop too. I'll be thinking about you in the mornings and during the week as you are doing the single mom thing. Rough, but sounds like the end goal will be worth it. I have missed your blogging over the Christmas break and glad you are back. :)