Nothing really witty today. Just a big ole' photo dump.
My kids have decided that getting up at 4:30 a.m. is the "cool" thing to do.
Both of them.
This would be okay if I went to bed at a normal hour and slept straight through the night.
Which I don't.
Last night I did make it to bed around 10:00p.m.
But this was short lived and followed up by nursing intervals at 12:00 a.m. and 2:30 a.m. and then 4:00 a.m.
I thought I'd gotten the baby back to sleep and laid my oh so weary head on my glorious pillow when I heard the pitter patter of feet.
Caderyn was awake.
Not "I had a bad dream awake,but "Mom! Let's go!Make me breakfast, watch me poop and then answer my hundreds of 'Why' questions" awake.
And then Gabriel was all, "Hey! If he's awake, I'm definitely awake too! And while you're up and taking care of my brother's needs would you please listen to me poop from across the room, clean my pants and my outfit, let me spit up on you no less than three times, head butt you in the nose and jaw really hard, poop again and then smile at you all the while you're covered in my filth?"
And I was like, "Ummmm suuuuuure."
But I love them, so I just went through the motions and then made a giant pot of coffee.
Then I locked myself in my bedroom closet for ten minutes and drank my coffee and ate my breakfast in silence.
Yep I did.
It was glorious.
So, here are some pictures of our lives lately.
Mimi and Mema are you seeing this? You probably should answer his phone calls.
His poor cheeks are covered in this rash. No big deal though, he still farts like a champ every time I'm nursing him. Obviously the rash has not affected his ability to push loud noises out of his bottom.
This is the squishy face of a hungry boy who is ticked because I'm taking pictures instead of feeding him.
This is that squishy faced boy now milk drunk.
See the above statement.
This is my Giblet's Godmother. They are buds.
Caderyn hides grapes in his cheeks.
Gib is going to be on the Olympic 2028 gymnastics team. He's working on sticking the landings.
No shirt. No worries.
Well good morning to YOU too!
Tired and crabby. Oh what is a baby boy to do?
Two month check-up= 3 shots in the legs and 3 poop blow outs.
Baby boy. I'm so sorry I have to go back to work. It feels like we've hardly gotten any time together. I'm going to miss your grunts and snorts, your coos, your chattery little voice, your smiles. I'm going to miss your baby smell, your wide-eyed looks and your silly faces. I'm going to miss changing your diaper and nursing you for every meal. I'm going to miss putting you down for your nap and watching you drift off to sleep on the monitor. Oh baby boy. I'm going to miss you so much, that each and every day I will work hard to be able to race as fast as I can to get you in my arms again.
Today is my last full day of maternity leave. While I've worked throughout most of my leave, I have still enjoyed the freedome of traveling with my family and spending many quality days at home.
One thing I have come to realize is that I would make a terrible stay at home mom. I like having a clean house and making dinner every night, but man sometimes I felt so stir crazy and antsy to get out and do stuff that I just couldn't easily do with two kiddos in tow.
I would love to maybe one day have a little part-time job on the side and still be able to spend time with my kiddos. I would love to take them to school, go to the gym, clean my house, make dinner, pick them up from school and then have the rest of the day to play.
Hey, a gal can dream.
I'm sad to have to leave my boys, but staying at home is not written in the stars for me. But, that's okay because I have a great group of people set up to help me with my kids while I'm at work. Financially I am supporting our family right now while Jeff gets his Master's degree. I have a good job at a great institution so that makes going back to work a little bit easier. I also know the person taking care of my boys during the day is simply wonderful. She will give Gabriel the love and attention he needs and also be able to teach Caderyn and get him ready for preschool.
Today I snuggled in bed with my boys until 8:00 a.m. I let Caderyn watch cartoons to his hearts content for an hour. I've let him take every single book and toy that he could possibly own out and I haven't asked him to put anything back yet. We got lunch together at Subway and went to the Science Center where we flew spaceships, caught aliens and built huge towers out of blocks. We got a frozen yogurt treat and upon returning home I put on still more cartoons for Caderyn (yep. I did). Then while he watched The Land Before Time I took Gabriel into my room and I rocked him and smooched his chubby cheeks. I rocked him to sleep and then held him just a little while longer to make sure he knew the way his Mommy's arms felt around him.
Driving in the car. Caderyn: Mommy, why is the sky up there in the sky? Me: Because God made it that way (common answer these days for the infinite number of questions). Caderyn: Well why is God up in Heaven in the sky? Me: That's where he lives so he can see everyone. Caderyn: Well why is he up there? Me: I think people said God was in Heaven in the sky because He and Heaven are both so vast a concept that it was above their heads and beyond what they could ever comprehend or understand. So they created the idea of a Heaven above. (Yes I said this. Sometimes we just give him a complicated answer and he quiets) Caderyn is quiet for a minute. But just a minute. Caderyn: Well, I'm going to be bigger than God and Heaven! Look at my belly! It's getting so big!
Jeff is sitting in the rocking chair reading a book to Caderyn. He talks in a "Count Dracula" voice.
Jeff to me: You see, this is how you should talk when you read this book. Me to Jeff: Whatever, I do an awesome Hispanic impression from Skippyjon Jones. Jeff: Please don't talk to me. I'm in character.
Caderyn started swimming lessons the Monday after Gabriel was born.
June 21, Gabriel's actual due date was the first time I ventured out of the house with my little one and went to watch Caderyn in action.
I'll be darned if I was going to miss out on my son's swimming lessons. I didn't make it every day, but I made it a few times over the course of the next week and was so impressed with my little swimmer.
Well, the "weight" is over and I'm so done with this "weight." Weight. How is it I'm back to this again? Over three years ago, I gained 70 pounds in my first pregnancy.
5 weeks postpartum. Ugh. But the baby is cute.
For someone who had always been fairly fit and was able to eat what I wanted this gain and body transformation was a shock for me. I struggled daily with how I looked and I also struggled with the fact that only I was to blame for the true and unhealthy amount I'd gained.
Skinny me. College years.
Having struggled with weight and body issues in college, I made the commitment to myself and my family to go about this weight loss as healthy as possible. To come out of it a more positive human being, more comfortable in my skin and with who I was and am evolving into. It took me over two years, but I finally blasted away the last of those 70 pounds. I celebrated by eating a cupcake.
70 pounds gone.
Fast forward to now. With my second pregnancy, I wanted to enjoy myself, but in moderation. I vowed I would never gain 70 pounds again. I watched what I ate and made sure I was having my portions of fruits and veggies, but if I wanted Cheetos I had them. Heck. This is probably the only time in my life I'll ever be able to eat some of those things without feeling guilty. I enjoyed this second pregnancy considerably more than my first one. With my first one I felt so much pressure not to gain weight that I think my brain flip flopped on me and the result was intense comfort eating. With this pregnancy, I ate what I wanted in moderation and I worked out 3-4 times a week even if it was just a quick walk down a couple blocks and back.
Day before I delivered.
With this last pregnancy, I probably gained 50 pounds. I lost 10 right away and am now concentrating on the last 40 with Weight Watchers and working out--even if its only for 20 minutes a day (two kids makes gym time a little harder). Even though I still have extra weight, I will say I'm more confident about how I feel with myself now than after my first pregnancy. I understand that what I look like now is only temporary, and I'm determined to get back to my pre-weight by Christmas. This is exactly six months after baby and I think is a realistic goal for me to set. With that said, I would like to point out this article. I've always been frustrated with Hollywood's portrayal of what is beautiful and what is normal. It is not normal for new mom's to be super skinny and fit so quickly. Yes, some women just have that metabolism that kicks into overdrive, but I think the majority of the world does not. Hollywood, however, makes new moms feel guilty for being a bit soft or curvy or for carrying a extra few pounds around the middle, leg, arm or bust areas. I will admit, I have looked at pictures of new Hollywood moms and felt absolutely horrible about myself. At two month, most new mom's are just starting to feel semi-normal. The boobs have maybe stopped hurting, bodies might have adjusted to 2-3 hour intervals of sleep, and having spit up on shoulders is as common as brushing your teeth each morning. For the majority of Hollywood moms, two months or less after having a baby means putting on that bikini or super skin tight dress and prancing around for the paparazzi. I still don't even want to be near a camera yet. Do these women feel so insignificant in the world of ever changing headliners that they must validate their existence in the form of weight loss? Is this why we always see weight loss as such a positive thing? To validate our existence? The portrayal of women and how women "should" look in today's society is completely distorted. If you think about it, Hollywood and models account for, what? Like 1% of the entire world population? Are we, as women and men alike going to base how our society looks and acts on that minority? Is being skinny really all that beautiful? Perhaps sometimes we feel so much pressure to be skinny and perfect as portrayed by the vapid lives of Hollywood "stars" that it flips flops our mental states and leads to overeating. Perhaps that is why we deal with obesity in our country. We don't have overly positive images of healthy women to inspire and guide us.
Yes, after having a baby, we want to feel normal again. We want to feel pretty and basically we want to feel and look how we did before we were pregnant. For months our bodies were not our own, but rather an incubator for your new little bundle of joy. It's job was to gain weight and be healthy for the baby. As new mothers, our bodies just went through a massive journey where we produced a new life. It took us 9 months to grow that baby and its going to take time to get it off. I am happy to see new moms like Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff embracing their new curves and refusing to bow down to the pressures of Hollywood. Being a mother is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your baby. Focus on being healthy.
Let me just set the scene a little bit here. Only a parent can truly understand and value what it is like to go to the bathroom alone. Yep. I went there. Top that off with a bathroom door without a lock and every second I am in the bathroom is under strict monitoring by my three-year-old who is curious about all body functions at the moment. Hoooooooray. I stepped into the bathroom for a second. The beautiful call of nature in the form of #1 was pressuring my bladder. Caderyn: Mommy are you going potty. Me: Yep. I'll be out in just a second Caderyn. Caderyn: Why? Are you taking a big poop? Me: Bwahahahahaha!