Wednesday, August 29, 2012

SO MANY FACES, SO LITTLE TIME



Baby boy. I'm so sorry I have to go back to work. It feels like we've hardly gotten any time together. I'm going to miss your grunts and snorts, your coos, your chattery little voice, your smiles. I'm going to miss your baby smell, your wide-eyed looks and your silly faces. I'm going to miss changing your diaper and nursing you for every meal. I'm going to miss putting you down for your nap and watching you drift off to sleep on the monitor. 
Oh baby boy. I'm going to miss you so much, that each and every day I will work hard to be able to race as fast as I can to get you in my arms again.

Today is my last full day of maternity leave. While I've worked throughout most of my leave, I have still enjoyed the freedome of traveling with my family and spending many quality days at home.

One thing I have come to realize is that I would make a terrible stay at home mom. I like having a clean house and making dinner every night, but man sometimes I felt so stir crazy and antsy to get out and do stuff that I just couldn't easily do with two kiddos in tow.

I would love to  maybe one day have a little part-time job on the side and still be able to spend time with my kiddos. I would love to take them to school, go to the gym, clean my house, make dinner, pick them up from school and then have the rest of the day to play.

Hey, a gal can dream.

I'm sad to have to leave my boys, but staying at home is not written in the stars for me. But, that's okay because I have a great group of people set up to help me with my kids while I'm at work. Financially I am supporting our family right now while Jeff gets his Master's degree. I have a good job at a great institution so that makes going back to work a little bit easier. I also know the person taking care of my boys during the day is simply wonderful. She will give Gabriel the love and attention he needs and also be able to teach Caderyn and get him ready for preschool.

Today I snuggled in bed with my boys until 8:00 a.m. I let Caderyn watch cartoons to his hearts content for an hour. I've let him take every single book and toy that he could possibly own out and I haven't asked him to put anything back yet. We got lunch together at Subway and went to the Science Center where we flew spaceships, caught aliens and built huge towers out of blocks. We got a frozen yogurt treat and upon returning home I put on still more cartoons for Caderyn (yep. I did). Then while he watched The Land Before Time I took Gabriel into my room and I rocked him and smooched his chubby cheeks. I rocked him to sleep and then held him just a little while longer to make sure he knew the way his Mommy's arms felt around him.

I have so enjoyed this time with my children.

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