Wednesday, October 10, 2012


On Sunday, we had a slow morning that eventually grew into an action packed afternoon and was later followed by an excruciating evening.

For some reason on the weekends my oldest man child (Caderyn) thinks it is HIL-arious to wake up at 5:30 a.m. ready to go. Not joking.
We let him come into bed with us in the hopes that having him sandwiched between us will lull him back to sleep.
That pretty much never happens.
After the fifth time of me getting slapped in the face or having my nose squeezed and probably the sixth time that Jeff is kicked in the family jewels (yep), we just resort to being bad parents and put on cartoons.
Then, whichever one of us that drug our sorry butts out of bed will eventually stagger back to bed for a hopeful hour to hour and a half of sleep.
That Sunday started out no different.
Jeff was the one that made his way out of bed to turn on a movie for Caderyn and then I staggered out around 7:30 a.m. (sleeping in!) when Caderyn declared he was hungry.
I would like to add that Gabriel was still asleep.
So I made Caderyn and myself breakfast.
One of my favorite things in the morning is getting to sit and eat my breakfast and drink my coffee uninterrupted.
This particular Sunday allowed me that peace.
When Caderyn was done eating he started to play with his toys and Gabriel woke up.
So I went through my motions with him and by the time I was done feeding him Jeff got up.
I ran some errands, bought some fruit and two pairs of pants for Jeff. This is SO thrilling, huh?

Sidenote: Jeff desperately needed new pants because about three weeks ago we were in church and he went to sit down after the homily and SPLIT his pants. Not a tiny little tear. No. A huge from the top of the butt cheek to the bottom and his undies were hanging out in all their glory. Thank heavens we were at the back because when everyone got up for the Eucharist, he was able to quietly slip out unseen and sit the rest of the mass in the car.

After I got home we loaded up into the car and met some friends out at a local corn maze for a few hours.
Here are some pictures of our field trip:

Here is a video of the pigs squealing when the farmer guy put them in the crates to be moved into the outer pen so we could pet them. I thought it was hilarious (as you can tell from my many comments and laughs) and now I want a baby pig.

The corn maze was a blast, but then we noticed Caderyn was really struggling to breath and his weird breathing tics (yes, he has those. I'll write more about them later) were more pronounced. Jeff and I were both a little worried so we headed home. Jeff had to leave and I wanted to get Caderyn into a Vicks bath and give him a breathing treatment.
We got home and Jeff left within 30 minutes of our arrival. He had a study session for Accounting and, alas, I was left alone with the kiddies yet again. As always.
As soon as Jeff walked out the door Gabriel started screaming.
This is rare.
This kiddo is usually SO happy all of the time. He laughs and coos and talks and smiles constantly. So anytime he isn't happy, you just know something is wrong.
I rocked him, I tried to nurse him--I mean I literally broke out all of my awesome mom tricks and they just wouldn't work.
He finally went down for a nap and I trudged my sorry self over to the couch where I put on a movie for Caderyn and I to watch after his bath and breathing treatment.
I fell asleep for about 30 minutes and then got up to make dinner.
In the 10 minute span it took me to make dinner, this happened:
This is a big deal because this kid pretty much refuses to nap.
And he was conked out! He slept through me vacuuming ( I was trying to wake him up) and his brother screaming again once he woke up.
When Caderyn woke up and both of them were up, OH BOY!
They both were crying!
Gabriel was still screaming like he was in pain (pretty sure he was).
Caderyn was crying because he was tired and pretty much just wanted to cry.
So from about 5:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m. it felt like the clock pretty much stopped moving.
I went from Caderyn to Gabriel and from Gabriel to Caderyn to try and console them both.
Nothing worked.
Both of my children cried for two hours straight.
At one point I was sitting on the floor of Caderyn's bedroom and he was halfway under his bed sobbing while Gabriel screamed from his bouncy seat in our living room and I just sat back and put my head in my hands.
I took a deep breath.
I wished in that instant that I had help. That I could just call someone to come over and help me. To have someone come over so I could at least go for a walk by myself. In silence.
I was tired. I was tired of having to be a single parent. Tired of feeling so thinly stretched all of the time. Tired of feeling exhausted and impatient.

But then I got over it and did what I do best.

Be their mom.

Gabriel finally nursed himself to sleep.
Then he woke up and blasted a HUGE poop out of his drawers, so we all know why he was crying, and then he nursed back to sleep again.
Caderyn calmed down after he ate dinner and got some quiet time by himself to play. He was asleep within 15 minutes of being put to bed.

The days of alone time, sleeping in and just doing whatever the heck I feel like are over.
That doesn't get to happen anymore.
As much as I wanted that selfish time by myself and craved the silence and the sleep, my instinct took over.
My instinct now is focused mainly on my children and caring for them and making sure they are happy.
They may scream for hours on end, throw tempter tantrums or puke all over my work clothes the second I get dressed in the morning, but they are my kids and I love them.
It's my job to make them responsible and respectful human beings.
It's my job to just be their mom.

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