Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Life is so unfair!
Your Mommy gave you the choice of watching cartoons and taking a spit bath after or taking a long tubby and then reading books before bed.
You chose to watch cartoons.
But hark! What's that?
You finished your show and then your Mommy only scrubbed your face and hands with a warm towel.
What the crap was that?
So you decided it would be better to just take a tub.
Sadly, your Mommy told you it was too late to take a tub.
I mean what the heck is her deal? She lets you stay up late to watch a show and then when its 15 minutes past your bedtime she won't even let you take a tub?
Who does she think she is?
So you sure showed her.
You screamed. You cried big crocodile tears.
 You ran around the house naked with your Mommy following and trying to get your jammies on.
If you'd have taken a second to stop the drama, you probably would have thought it was pretty funny the way your Mommy chased after you with your undies.
But no, you were too upset to care.
After 10 minutes your jammies were finally on and Mommy had cornered you in your room.
But you don't give in that easily.
For the next five minutes you proceeded to push on the bathroom door that connects to your room.
You pushed and you hit the door. You screamed at it.
You screamed, "WHY WON'T YOU OPEN."
Mommy just stayed silent as she sat on the floor and watched in amazement and wonder at your vocal skills.

Finally your Mom just put you in bed and left the room.
She thought you needed a break.
And so did she.
Holy cow! Not so!
While on your "break" you continued to scream and flail around in your bed. You threw pillows on the ground.
Pillows are for pansies!
You knocked all the books off your nightstand.
Those words and pictures must have made you SO angry!
You were heard shouting, "I'M NEVER GOING TO BED!" or "I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE A TUB AGAIN!"
Then you got out of bed and screamed "I WON'T GO TO BED" at your Mommy.
So she put you back in bed again.
Man does she have a hearing problem?
That really made you mad.
So you cried for five more minutes.
You sure showed your Mommy, huh?

Finally you started to calm down.
Your Mommy came back into your room and chatted with you.
You and your Mommy talked about choices. How you chose to watch cartoons instead of take a tubby that night.
Mommy kept saying, "It's okay that you chose to watch cartoons. But because you chose that, you didn't get to take a bath. I know you were frustrated because you wanted to take a bath, but it's not okay to scream and shout."
In between calming cry gulps you told Mommy you didn't think you'd ever want to take a bath again.
Then you told her you would never go to sleep.
Mommy tucked you in to bed and tickled your arm while you told her this.
You would make her understand...
But then you fell asleep.
In like, two minutes.
After, your Mommy went and ate a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
Man, sometimes it's tough being three.

No comments: