Tuesday, June 25, 2013


I know I haven't been posting lately. I'm sorry.
I'm busy and overwhelmed and happy and sad and frustrated and elated and surrounded by family all at once. Is that possible?

For the months of July and August I am going to be working on some changes here on the ole blog. I have a meeting with an expert...well its actually someone I work with who is going to help me revamp my blog and give it a nice, modern look. So if my posts are scarce, I apologize, but I promise they will get better.

Caderyn is great. He is swimming lessons and is loving having his Daddy and his grandparents around him all at once. That boy has the life I tell ya. Except when Mom tells him he can't watch television, then his life is just awful! He is interested in learning math--but only if we include Spiderman in the equations. (Spiderman has three webs, but then the Lizard destroys two of them. How many does he have left?) He is so smart! He can add and subtract! He understands shape words like "pentagon" and "octagon." He just absolutely floors me sometimes with his knowledge and desire to learn.

Gib is also doing great. Each day is a new day and he is progressing. He is getting stronger thanks to therapies and the work we do with him. We are very busy running him to different therapy appointments and other appointments. No word yet on whether or not we qualify for assistance from the state/government--my fingers are still crossed. He starts speech therapy sometime in the next 3-4 weeks and has a genetic test scheduled for July 30 here in Helena. He is hilarious and his handsomely dark blonde hair has started to curl at the ends. Everywhere we go people comment on how gorgeous and adorable he is. He got an Ergo carrier for his birthday and loves going for walks in it. He hates being held in it and just standing still, we have to be moving.

And that's about all that's new with our lives. Oh! Except I am going to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis on October 24 and I am so super excited about it! Eeeeeeeee!

Saturday, June 22, 2013


My book club book. So far so good! I like being in a book club because it opens my eyes to books I probably wouldn't have chosen on my own.
Still not sure about this one...it is about butterflies...and divine miracles...
What I've Read:

Oh ho ho! I like these better than the 50 Shades series. 
Meh. I'm determined to get through all of the books she has written but they are becoming so predictable and boring. I used to laugh out loud when I read them and now I don't. 
Where oh where do I begin with this book? It was very well written, but the story was just awful. Not like it was painful to read awful, but like the actual plot of the story was just so so so so wrong. So wrong. But even though it was wrong, I couldn't stop reading. I had to finish it to figure out what the heck was going on and what was going to happen.
And then it ended and I remember scrunching my face up in both confusion and disgust. Yep. That was truly how I reacted. 
Third time around. Loved it again.
On Deck: 
I want to read his new book Inferno, but I need to get caught up first.  
It has taken me over a year to finish all seven. This will be the third time I have finished all of the books. I might get emotional all over again.  
Eh. If I have to. 

Tuesday, June 18, 2013


Gabriel turned ONE on Sunday.
Has it really been a year since he entered our lives?
Since the moment we found out we were pregnant with our little Gibby, he has captivated our hearts.

The day before Gabriel was born I was at work helping to check out a group. I woke up that morning and knew something was off. My feelings were affirmed as I had sporatic contractions while I was at work. I remember telling one of my workers I'd just had a contraction and his reaction was one of immediate panic, "Shouldn't you be at the hospital?"
I left work early that day and went home to take a nap. The contractions stopped for a while and then when I got up to make dinner they started again. They weren't following a schedule at all though, so I just kept going. Finally, after dinner I remember Jeff coming into the kitchen and asking me how I felt. I told him I was pretty sure I was in labor so we downloaded the iPhone app that helps keep track of contractions and started timing them. My parents took Caderyn to the park while Jeff and I went for a walk around 8:00 p.m. that night. We called my doctor and talked to her and then made it home to put Caderyn to bed. Once he was in bed I gathered all of our hospital stuff and put it in a corner and then settled on the couch with Jeff to watch Captain America. Isn't it funny how vividly we can remember those nights before our chidren were born? I can remember what I ate as well as what I was doing and watching on both Caderyn and Gabriel's birth days. Around 10:30 p.m. the contractions were strong and close together so we called my parents to come over and Jeff, my mom and I were in the car by 11:00 p.m. and at the hospital by 11:30 p.m.
After a much faster and more painful labor (only eased by the wonderful epidural) Gabriel arrived on June 16th at 8:08 a.m.

There are not enough words in the entire world to describe the moment I saw him. He was perfect and everything I had hoped for. I remember reaching for him immediately and felt such an overwhelming sense of love the second he was in my arms.

Gabriel has always been meant for our family. He has always been mine.
I look forward to his smile each day and am comforted by the fact that he wants to be close to me.
Despite the bumps we have encountered recently, I know Gabriel will grow up to be an amazing young man who will do great things in his lifetime.

Happy Birthday Gabriel! May you always know the immense amount of love everyone has for you in their hearts.

One Month
Two Months
Three Months
Four Months
Five Months
Six Months
Seven Months
Eight Months
Nine Months
Ten Months 
Eleven Months
Twelve Months

Friday, June 14, 2013


I can't believe it has been three weeks since we saw the neurologist in Spokane.
Since that visit, I think it would be okay to say that we have been very overwhelmed with everything.

People ask us stuff about him, but we honestly still don't know what is going on with him. I think we have a long road ahead of us and we really just need to keep going one day at a time.

Gabriel has good days and he has bad days. On good days he is super happy and social and screams only on occasion. On bad days I don't really leave the house and mentally retreat into my happy place while Gabriel screams and screams. These are ear piercing screams that continue every 5-15 minutes. Usually this happens because he wants to be by me, he is overwhelmed, he is overstimulated, he is hungry or he is tired. The list goes on.

As a parent it is so hard to sit there and see your child struggle and vent their unhappiness in such a way. All I want to do is hold him and not leave him, but then nothing would get done around my house and Caderyn's needs would go unattended.
Some days I feel like I am amazing in my multi-tasking and then there are days when I feel like I am a complete failure. I have learned pretty quickly to just go with it. If he starts to meltdown and we are somewhere, we leave. If he screams, but isn't upset, just excited, we just let him screech. We don't go out a lot. We usually just stick pretty close to home and I try to run errands during my lunch break or on my way to get them from daycare.

Gabriel has been going to therapies for a full two weeks now and already I feel like there are some amazing changes.

He is sitting up almost completely unassisted right now. He does throw himself back on occasion, but it isn't as often as it was before. He is more engaged in playing with toys. He is using his left hand more and grabbing more with an open palm than he was 3-4 weeks ago. Before, he would just slap at the toys or try to pick things up with his thumb and pointer finger. Now we notice that he is grasping and holding much better. He plays with his feet more, he rolls everywhere, and he holds his bottle now. All of this he wasn't doing 3-4 weeks ago.

And the BIG thing this week was that yesterday at occupational therapy he took a graham cracker from the therapist and ate the whole thing by himself. This is a HUGE deal you guys because he has refused to take food items into his hands and he pretty much refused all of the solids we try to feed him.

Like the big baby I am I cried. I was so happy to see him do that and to enjoy it I could hardly contain the emotions that came over me. He looked so normal in that moment and so happy to be eating such a tasty treat.

We had a social worker from a program called Family Outreach come to our home this week. She talked with us, brought us advocacy information and did an evaluation of Gabriel. She told is that Gabriel's case will go before an evaluation panel, but that she thought we would qualify for state/government assistance with therapies, help at home, purchasing developmental toys etc. This was really great to hear and I had no idea we had these options!

And now, what you have all been waiting for--THE PICTURES
Big guy sitting up! 
Celebrating Jeff's 30th birthday around his new fire pit.  
Look at him hold this bottle! 
I'm going to like doing this during the summer! 
Calm before the storm.

Thursday, June 13, 2013


With all that is currently going on in our lives, there has been one little boy I haven't mentioned.


My goal going into this drastic life change was to have Caderyn as unaffected as possible.
I try very hard to keep his life like it always was, but he does notice there are differences and has adapted to them with admirable speed.

So how is Caderyn?
Well, let me tell you.

  • Caderyn is four.
  • He is obsessed with superheros. Yesterday he was Spiderman and he chased Jeff around the yard shooting imaginary webs out of his hands while making ridiculously realistic web-shooting noises.
  • He loves reading, coloring, and putting together puzzles.
  • He loves Legos.
  • He has to be involved in the making of his lunch so he can tell me what he likes, what he doesn't like or if I have given him too much or too little of something.
  • Can spin around and around while having a complete conversation with me.
  • He loves showing us his "sweet new tricks" that usually involve him kicking out his leg or doing something that looks like a break dance move.
  • He loves snuggling and giving kisses. Our neighbor girl kissed Caderyn on the cheek over the weekend. This produced a massive, yet shy smile from my son who said, "What was that?" It took every ounce of control in my body not to sit between them and start talking about potty training.
  • He loves watching movies with us and is currently hooked on Scooby-Doo.
  • He has an imagination that could fuel a small country.
  • He still asks about a billion questions a day.
  • He is having a whining streak that tests our patience.
  • He just finished up his second season of soccer and was such a stud on the field! His last game he scored seven goals!
  • He feels like he needs to be included in every conversation and every event that goes on around him.
  • He is starting to tattle.
  • He is still a doting big brother and is the only one who can make Gabriel give the biggest and loudest belly laughs.
  • He is curious about where babies come from. Yep. I'm still trying to dodge that question.
  • He loves learning.
  • He adores every single person in his family and is happy whenever we have a visitor.
  • He thinks it is funny to holler, "Mommy, I need you to wipe me! It's a big/stinky one!" after he has taken a poop on the potty...no matter who is in our house.
  • Has recently been keeping a chore chart to earn allowance.
  • He adores having people to play with.
  • He does not end up in timeout that often.
  • He does not like bugs. That might be my fault.
  • He is always very aware of what is right and wrong. He is my little risk manager.
Caderyn: Mommy, be careful. Make sure you stop at the red light.
Me: Thank you Caderyn. I'm glad you reminded me.
Caderyn: Well...you do speed a lot.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


Caderyn: Mommy, when I'm big and grown-up can I still watch Scooby-Doo?
Me: You sure can! You can watch them until you're old and gray.
Caderyn: Like when I'm ten?

Sure...if he considers that old then I am freaking ANCIENT!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


I usually save these posts for Fridays, but I've been so off lately in my crazy little world I at least wanted to give you all something nice and happy to look at.
We are doing fair this week. Gabriel has started 2 out of 3 therapies. I will write more about those later.
But for now--only the good stuff. Pictures of our lives.
We took the boys to the Art Walk a couple weeks ago and started out at the Blackfoot Brewery for a beer. Caderyn attacked their popcorn machine and inhaled three full bowls of popcorn in less that five minutes. I wasn't even mad...I was impressed.  
Flirty little lover pants. 
Caderyn was super excited about getting a hot dog for dinner.
I don't touch those things. 
A boy and his bath. 
First major face owie.  
Gymnastics= joy 
My brother came to town for a night. Lots of shenanigans happened. Not really. We went to breakfast and goofed around.
We are both sooooooooo social.
Taylor made fun of me because I was feeding the birds.
Caderyn's first shiner. 
A corgi and her uncle. 
Rainy, misty morning walks.  
How I can tell its raining.  
Driving to Missoula for the weekend and what do we pass on the highway? A plane. A yellow plane just driving down the highway. This was the best picture I could get...while driving... 
Silly faces 
Um...how cute is this.