Tuesday, February 11, 2014

TOMFOOLERY

What tomfoolery is this?
It has been over a year since I was given my own post of here?
Poppycock!

I am but a delicate flower, whose glorious story needs be shared.
Such scandal!
Greetings my fellow subjects, this here is a message from your Queen.
As of late, I have found myself extremely bored and underused.
The snow has fallen so heavily that I must burrow tunnels through the yard to find a decent spot to make doodles. Unsanitary!
The yard no longer requires my constant vigilance in keeping out treacherous deer.
Men came into my yard and have set a trap for the deer complete with grainy snacks and a large cage.
I like the snacks, but do not appreciate the coup d'├ętat they have led upon my hallowed haven of a yard.
Preposterous!
The squirrels do still continue to lurk from the treetops, but since their safe havens have been destroyed or covered up, they wander around aimlessly like zombies.
Even though they do not pose threats at current, I would assure my subjects that I've got my eyes and ears on them like the unblinking eye of Sauron.
Sort of.
If a treat doth fall from the table where the tiny man-children eat, then I am not to be held responsible for what happens in the yard.
A doggins must eat, you know.
Recent developments in my kingdom, have led to me reemerging as the rightful proprietress of the left side of the bed.
I have forgotten how comfortable it is to sleep upon such a cushy throne.
When my female slave crawls into the other side of the bed, I make sure to keep her in check. Any movement that displaces me is warranted with a throaty growl to let her know I am displeased.
 
There was a surge in frigid temperatures here in our realm of the world.
It was even too chilly for me to go outside and make my yardly rounds.
To occupy myself, I made sure to hold court upon the couch surrounded by the finest pillows in all the land.
My subjects greatly revered me for not forcing them into the subzero weather.
I am sure.
 
So now that my story has finally been updated, I must take my leave.
The couch is calling my name. 

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