Thursday, April 3, 2014

A DECISION

 
 
 
Lately, I've been keeping the quote: "Let your faith be bigger than your fear" on repeat in my head. I find that those specific words give me a little added strength to weather the storms of our daily lives.
Since our last big announcement about Jeff's upcoming commitment with the Army in South Korea, I've kind of tried to keep a low profile both on here and in my regular life...you know that one involving people. The news was kind of a shock to us and we needed some time to think and talk.
And that's pretty much what we've done these last few weeks and months. We thought and we talked. And then we thought and we talked some more.
Well we've thought enough, and we've talked enough.
We've made a decision, we've started to tell people. I was given the go ahead to share on here so that people had an idea of what was going on.

This coming June I will be leaving my job. That was probably the hardest decision. I really like where I work, I really like the people I work with. I really like the institution and I like the town we live in and the routine we have. There were a lot of tears leading up to this decision. But what it all came down to was the welfare of the kids. Could I stay in Helena and work full-time with Jeff being gone a year? I probably could. No doubt it would be hard and it would be lonely, but I could do it. But did I want to do it? Was that fair to my job? Most importantly, was it fair to my kids? No, not really and they are the ones who need my attention the most when Jeff is gone.
So, I will be taking the rest of the summer off to enjoy my friends and my family. I can't remember the last time I had such freedom with my summer to just ...enjoy. There are weddings to attend that I will actually get to go to (Yay JC and Jess!), camping trips to embark on and about a bazillion s'mores with my name on them. I can't tell you just how excited I am for that break.
Of course, here comes the even bigger decision we've made. In August, I will pack up our house (probably putting most of it in storage) and move the boys, Lucy, and myself to Arizona to live with my parents for that year.
I absolutely adore my parents, but one of my biggest pride points was that I haven't had to move back home like so many other people I know. I've been able to work and maintain my independence without having to rely too heavily on my parents. We haven't racked up obscene amounts of debt. I'm proud of that. So this decision was pretty big for me. I am a firm believer in not causing an uproar or an inconvenience to others, and I really struggled with the thought of just how much we would impact and disrupt my parent's daily routine.
Of course they set me straight on that thought every time I'd mentioned it, but I still really want to try and make the whole process enjoyable for them and the boys.
It was hard for me to admit that I can't do it all by myself, that I really do need help. I feel like such a huge relief was taken off my shoulders to know that my parents, as well as Jeff's parents, were so willing to accept us with open arms.
So we made the decision to move in with my parents, of course I'm still working on some specifics with them and I think we'll keep working on them up until we arrive. Once my parents got over the initial shock regarding the news of Jeff's tour, they quickly started planning for how to accommodate adding three new bodies and a fluffy pooch into their home. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear them talking about "this time next year," or "in just a few months." I'm glad that they are getting excited. I'm still going to have to figure out how to not completely bombard them with crazy little boys and a barky dog. I've got to get down there and figure out a schedule.  I like those schedules, but now I've just realized I'm rambling.
So, we will head to Arizona pretty soon here for a two week vacation. During that time I will be registering Caderyn for Kindergarten and looking at daycares for Gibby. At the moment, I would like to keep Gibby in part-time daycare for socialization purposes. I think he needs that connection. I will not be working right away...it feels so weird to say/read those words. I can't imagine myself not working, can't comprehend it. But I think I need to at least not work for a few weeks or maybe a month so I can get the boys into their routine and get Gibby back on a therapy schedule. Once we've got our routine down, I may look for something part-time. Or I may not. I may just take that year to write. I've already started writing a book, maybe I will try and finish it and start another one.
Who knows?!

So keep in touch with me. Hang out with me this summer. OR even better, start planning a trip to Phoenix to visit. Especially if you live in Montana, might I suggest the months of January-March to try and plan a visit?
Most importantly, keep reading mah blahhg (translation: my blog).

2 comments:

The McGregor Clan said...

So hard and so exciting! Love yall and praying for you guys during all of this transition!!

B said...

Wow, many prayers are being sent your way.